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Emotional Problems from Debt Ruining Life. – John

Been a good provider for the home, but I ran up debt supposing to get an inheritence that would pay for it. I have been struggling with depression for three years and it is getting worse along with my finances. I have been hospitalized once for suicidal ideations. I am on medication. I have lost my faith, as well. I am a Christian and this is a shame to my walk, as well.

I have credit card debt and a second, we are struggling to make the minimum payments and emotionally I am ruining my marriage, job and life overall. Although everything is current, is it appropriate to declare bankrupcy (our savings is being depleted to nothing to stay current). I had a couple of pay cuts and I am really not in a place to handle life emotionally. Thought about suicide but I have a wife and four children. Can’t stand the thought of a lifestyle change I guess.

John

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About Steve Rhode

Steve Rhode
Steve Rhode is the Get Out of Debt Guy and has been helping good people with bad debt problems since 1994. You can learn more about Steve, here.
  • Steve Rhode

    Good suggestions.

  • Robertplattbell

    “Can’t stand the thought of a lifestyle change I guess.”

    Perhaps the answer is in the palm of your hands.

    If you could tell us more about your “lifestyle” it might help in suggesting a solution.

    I know for me, personally, making “lifestyle” changes made all the difference.

    Here’s what I did to get out of debt:

    1. Got rid of Cable TV – costs $50 to $100 a month (that pays down a lot of CC debt a year!) and the programming provides a lot of bad ideas about spending. I go to the local library and check out books and videos for FREE. I read more, watch less, and am happier and have lower blood pressure as a result. Reading makes you smarter, too. Watching TV makes you dumber.

    2. Sold the Toys – most men have them, whether it is a vintage Jeep, a Jet Ski, an old Camaro, a bass boat, a gun collection, or whatever. Put ‘em on eBay or Craigslist and make it go away! I sold enough here to pay off most of my credit card debt. And the maintenance expenses saved (not to mention car insurance) were not insubstantial.

    3. Own Less House – we downsized our housing situation. I realized that I owned more house than I needed, mostly for status reasons. But the monthly payments were killing me. We have downsized and our mortgage debt has dropped dramatically and I am on track to paying it off very shortly.

    4. Spend Less – many of our friends eat out at restaurants 4-5 nights a week. We cut way back on this and PAY CASH (cut up our credit cards!) for any such purchases. Often we split an entree instead of ordering two. Not only do we spend less, we have lost weight and feel better. We also cut our grocery bill by buying food ingredients and making our own meals (not watching TV 4 hours a day gives you time to do this!) instead of buying prepared meals or ordering out for pizza.

    These “Lifestyle Changes” resulted in us live in a BETTER LIFE – one with less stress and worry. We look back on how we used to live – trying to “Keep up” with our neighbors and wonder what the HECK we were thinking!

    But those are just ideas based on our circumstances. What are the “Lifestyle Changes” you are reluctant to make?

    Please tell us more. And killing yourself over material things is idiotic. “The Material is Mortal Error” as Mary Baker Eddy said. The spiritual is far more important. Get off the materialism bandwagon and be happier!

    After all, it doesn’t sound like this “Lifestyle” you have is making you happy! Why not change it?

  • Robertplattbell

    “Can’t stand the thought of a lifestyle change I guess.”

    Perhaps the answer is in the palm of your hands.

    If you could tell us more about your “lifestyle” it might help in suggesting a solution.

    I know for me, personally, making “lifestyle” changes made all the difference.

    Here’s what I did to get out of debt:

    1. Got rid of Cable TV – costs $50 to $100 a month (that pays down a lot of CC debt a year!) and the programming provides a lot of bad ideas about spending. I go to the local library and check out books and videos for FREE. I read more, watch less, and am happier and have lower blood pressure as a result. Reading makes you smarter, too. Watching TV makes you dumber.

    2. Sold the Toys – most men have them, whether it is a vintage Jeep, a Jet Ski, an old Camaro, a bass boat, a gun collection, or whatever. Put ‘em on eBay or Craigslist and make it go away! I sold enough here to pay off most of my credit card debt. And the maintenance expenses saved (not to mention car insurance) were not insubstantial.

    3. Own Less House – we downsized our housing situation. I realized that I owned more house than I needed, mostly for status reasons. But the monthly payments were killing me. We have downsized and our mortgage debt has dropped dramatically and I am on track to paying it off very shortly.

    4. Spend Less – many of our friends eat out at restaurants 4-5 nights a week. We cut way back on this and PAY CASH (cut up our credit cards!) for any such purchases. Often we split an entree instead of ordering two. Not only do we spend less, we have lost weight and feel better. We also cut our grocery bill by buying food ingredients and making our own meals (not watching TV 4 hours a day gives you time to do this!) instead of buying prepared meals or ordering out for pizza.

    These “Lifestyle Changes” resulted in us live in a BETTER LIFE – one with less stress and worry. We look back on how we used to live – trying to “Keep up” with our neighbors and wonder what the HECK we were thinking!

    But those are just ideas based on our circumstances. What are the “Lifestyle Changes” you are reluctant to make?

    Please tell us more. And killing yourself over material things is idiotic. “The Material is Mortal Error” as Mary Baker Eddy said. The spiritual is far more important. Get off the materialism bandwagon and be happier!

    After all, it doesn’t sound like this “Lifestyle” you have is making you happy! Why not change it?

    • http://GetOutOfDebt.org Steve Rhode

      Good suggestions.

  • Steve Rhode

    I completely understand where you are coming from. When I had my debt problems it felt as if the world was closing in as well. But those feelings and reality are often two very different things.

    The time has come to stop bargaining with life and embrace it. Change is not always bad. In fact if you step-up and face this issue by embracing it, you will emerge stronger for it.

    If you feel the depression medication is not working for you, see your doctor. I also think you would benefit from two of my books you can download for free here.

    The two free books I think will be helpful to you are, “The Beach Misses You” and “The Path to Happiness and Wealth.”

    The healthiest way out of this is going to be for you to come clean with your spouse, talk to a bankruptcy attorney and find a way to embrace change.

    Life can seem impossible, difficult and so overwhelming that it feels impossible to go on one more day. But the reality is that no matter how bad it is, it could always be worse. While you are struggling through problem debt right now, hey, at least you’re not on fire. See, there’s something to be grateful for.

    Gratitude, acceptance, honesty, and truth, with some hugs and tears from your family, will get you through.

    Steve

    Steve

  • http://GetOutOfDebt.org Steve Rhode

    I completely understand where you are coming from. When I had my debt problems it felt as if the world was closing in as well. But those feelings and reality are often two very different things.

    The time has come to stop bargaining with life and embrace it. Change is not always bad. In fact if you step-up and face this issue by embracing it, you will emerge stronger for it.

    If you feel the depression medication is not working for you, see your doctor. I also think you would benefit from two of my books you can download for free here.

    The two free books I think will be helpful to you are, “The Beach Misses You” and “The Path to Happiness and Wealth.”

    The healthiest way out of this is going to be for you to come clean with your spouse, talk to a bankruptcy attorney and find a way to embrace change.

    Life can seem impossible, difficult and so overwhelming that it feels impossible to go on one more day. But the reality is that no matter how bad it is, it could always be worse. While you are struggling through problem debt right now, hey, at least you’re not on fire. See, there’s something to be grateful for.

    Gratitude, acceptance, honesty, and truth, with some hugs and tears from your family, will get you through.

    Steve

    Steve

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