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I Am a Recently Divorced Woman That Has Been Taken By a Con Man. – Cheryl

“Dear Steve,

I am a 53 yr. old female. Recently divorced. I have no job right now, but after hooking up with a “conman” , I have maxed out my credit cards. I owe just over 18,000 on two. The “conman” has promised to help, however, he has began to cut off communications with me. His credit is in the toilet and I am now just a bother to him. If he doesn’t pay those bills I am sunk. Up until now I have had excellent credit. So far I have not missed a payment, but it’s torturing me with the stress. Can’t eat or sleep very well and it is getting worse. I am actively looking for a job, but not much hope. The advice I’ve been getting from friends is, go back and get a degree. Just what I need another bill I cannot pay. Both cards are in my name only.

I want a fresh start, but have no money to get an attorney for bankruptcy. I want to take an active roll in finding a solution before it gets any further out-of-control. I called Discover and asked for a lower rate and they told me I could get 9.99 for one year and they would freeze my card . They also want to do a monthly debit from a checking account. Those are the requirements for Discover. Should I go ahead and seek bankruptcy help?? I really want to close this chapter of my life. I have not yet contacted Citi cards. Is it possible to just default on the cards?? I have not found the credit card companies to be of much assistance.

Cheryl”

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The Answer

Dear Cheryl,

When you tell me you don’t have money to get an attorney for bankruptcy that leads me to believe you also have no reasonable expectation to repay these debts.

The situation you describe is not unusual. A woman who has been through a difficult time in life, divorce, death of someone close, etc., is targeted with companionship and that companion uses the target for financial gain. As soon as it appears the good times are over, bank account is empty or credit limit is reached, they move on.

I have no way of knowing if that is exactly what has happened in your situation but it does not sound promising.

Since both cards are in your name and it does not sound as if they were used without your permission you are going to be responsible for the debt.

Now everything up to this point may weigh heavily on you but don’t despair. While the situation is bad and unfortunate there is a legal way to extract yourself from this mess and get a financial fresh start. You are correct, it will involve bankruptcy.

I think your journey out of debt should start with your reading The Honest and Unvarnished Truth About How to Get Out of Debt.

You can click here to find a local bankruptcy attorney and if you’d like a second opinion about your situation or a personal consultation by another debt coach, please feel free to contact Damon Day.

I need for you to muster up the courage to take action here. Once you do your life will begin to rebound. Until you do the stress and depression will deepen and before you know it you’ll be broke and still in the same spot.

Please post your responses and follow-up messages to me on this in the comments section below.

Big Hug!

I Am a Recently Divorced Woman That Has Been Taken By a Con Man.   Cheryl
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If you have a credit or debt question you’d like to ask just use the online form. I’m happy to help you totally for free.

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About Steve Rhode

Steve Rhode
Steve Rhode is the Get Out of Debt Guy and has been helping good people with bad debt problems since 1994. You can learn more about Steve, here.
  • Steve Rhode

    It’s fairly easy to rebuild an excellent credit score after bankruptcy. Just read How to Rebuild Your Credit After Bankruptcy.

  • Cheryl

    Steve, Just when I thought I was getting my depression from bankruptcy under control, I watched a show about people and their debts. This show is the # 1 advice Dr. He had a self-made millionaire on there giving advice. She made a statement that just took me down again.  Her remark was, “people can run from their credit card bills, but they can never escape their credit score”. Because I have to file does this mean I will never recover my good credit? Remember, I am 53.

  • Cheryl

    Steve, Just when I thought I was getting my depression from bankruptcy under control, I watched a show about people and their debts. This show is the # 1 advice Dr. He had a self-made millionaire on there giving advice. She made a statement that just took me down again.  Her remark was, “people can run from their credit card bills, but they can never escape their credit score”. Because I have to file does this mean I will never recover my good credit? Remember, I am 53. 

  • Steve Rhode

    It was something creditors wanted in the 2005 reform but it’s not helped consumers.

  • Cheryl

    Steve, What is your take on the BAPCPA means test??? Is it necessary?

  • Cheryl

    Steve, What is your take on the BAPCPA means test??? Is it necessary? 

    • http://GetOutOfDebt.org Steve Rhode

      It was something creditors wanted in the 2005 reform but it’s not helped consumers.

  • Steve Rhode

    I would suggest you pose your situation on finding low cost help to the bankruptcy attorney that answers questions here on the site. Ask it here.

  • Cheryl

    All legal aide offices were closed here due to budget cuts.

  • Steve Rhode

    Look for legal aid in your state. They can’t cover the court fees but may help you complete the forms for little or no cost.

  • Cheryl

    Steve, did my session this morning.  Now, trying to find an attorney here that will reduce the costs. Called the Idaho state bar and they told me there are ZERO low cost attorneys here. I can possibly get the filing fees waived at the court, but no way do I have 1100.00 to pay full price to attorney. I looked at the paperwork, and it is very involved. I know I can do the paperwork , but feel like I need some support from an attorney, in case of seizures and lawsuits later.  Any thoughts??

  • Steve Rhode

    Talk to your bankruptcy attorney about continuing payments. Once you are
    going to file they will tell you to stop paying.

    As far as how long Hummingbird will take to approve your waiver, don’t know.
    Call them and nage them.

  • Cheryl

    Steve, got the waiver form and faxed it to Hummingbird yesterday afternoon. Just curious, how long can this process take?? I have heard that bankruptcy can take a long time. I was hoping to be finished before the payments were late.

  • Steve Rhode

    I made some phone calls to call in some favors and you should contact
    http://www.hummingbird.org/ and let them know your financial status. They
    may be able to give you a fee wavier (reduced fee or free certification
    class) based on your specific situation. In any regards, no class should be
    more than $50.

    Contact them and let me know what happens.

    Steve

  • Cheryl

    Steve, yet another snag in my quest to file chapter 7. I have been made aware that my state has a requirement of a debt counseling session, 180 days prior to filing. Wow!!! it just keeps better & better.  This session can run up to 75.00. Have been online nearly all day to see if I can get this fee waived, to no avail.  Stress level is off-the-hook! Any Ideas?? BTW–all legal aid offices here have closed.  The plot thickens??

  • Cheryl

    Steve, yet another snag in my quest to file chapter 7. I have been made aware that my state has a requirement of a debt counseling session, 180 days prior to filing. Wow!!! it just keeps better & better.  This session can run up to 75.00. Have been online nearly all day to see if I can get this fee waived, to no avail.  Stress level is off-the-hook! Any Ideas?? BTW–all legal aid offices here have closed.  The plot thickens??

    • http://GetOutOfDebt.org Steve Rhode

      I made some phone calls to call in some favors and you should contact
      http://www.hummingbird.org/ and let them know your financial status. They
      may be able to give you a fee wavier (reduced fee or free certification
      class) based on your specific situation. In any regards, no class should be
      more than $50.

      Contact them and let me know what happens.

      Steve

    • Cheryl

       Steve, got the waiver form and faxed it to Hummingbird yesterday afternoon. Just curious, how long can this process take?? I have heard that bankruptcy can take a long time. I was hoping to be finished before the payments were late.

      • http://GetOutOfDebt.org Steve Rhode

        Talk to your bankruptcy attorney about continuing payments. Once you are
        going to file they will tell you to stop paying.

        As far as how long Hummingbird will take to approve your waiver, don’t know.
        Call them and nage them.

      • Cheryl

        Steve, did my session this morning.  Now, trying to find an attorney here that will reduce the costs. Called the Idaho state bar and they told me there are ZERO low cost attorneys here. I can possibly get the filing fees waived at the court, but no way do I have 1100.00 to pay full price to attorney. I looked at the paperwork, and it is very involved. I know I can do the paperwork , but feel like I need some support from an attorney, in case of seizures and lawsuits later.  Any thoughts??

      • http://GetOutOfDebt.org Steve Rhode

        Look for legal aid in your state. They can’t cover the court fees but may help you complete the forms for little or no cost.

      • Cheryl

         All legal aide offices were closed here due to budget cuts.

      • http://GetOutOfDebt.org Steve Rhode

        I would suggest you pose your situation on finding low cost help to the bankruptcy attorney that answers questions here on the site. Ask it here.

  • Steve Rhode

    I think you need to get a second opinion. I don’t think the bankruptcy attorney factored in your emotional place in time along with your debt. From everything you’ve shared it sounds like you are ready for closure. Let’s get it and get you your opportunity to move forward with your life. I just can’t see how sitting in the calls is going to do that for you.

  • Cheryl

    Steve, Had a meeting today with a bankruptcy attorney. He recommended that I do nothing. According to the exemptions in my state, he said the credit cards could seize nothing. However, at some point they may file judgements against me. Mr. M said, bankruptcy is all about timing and my time is not now. This was like a knife to the heart, I have always seized a problem and found a solution!  He recommended to stop trying to pay, and not to answer their calls.  What is your take??

  • Cheryl

    Steve, Had a meeting today with a bankruptcy attorney. He recommended that I do nothing. According to the exemptions in my state, he said the credit cards could seize nothing. However, at some point they may file judgements against me. Mr. M said, bankruptcy is all about timing and my time is not now. This was like a knife to the heart, I have always seized a problem and found a solution!  He recommended to stop trying to pay, and not to answer their calls.  What is your take??

    • http://GetOutOfDebt.org Steve Rhode

       I think you need to get a second opinion. I don’t think the bankruptcy attorney factored in your emotional place in time along with your debt. From everything you’ve shared it sounds like you are ready for closure. Let’s get it and get you your opportunity to move forward with your life. I just can’t see how sitting in the calls is going to do that for you.

  • Cheryl

    Thank you for all your valuable info. I am beginning to realize I am not my credit rating. For me your website has empowered me with information to rise above my debt, as well as the realization that debt does NOT make me less than. I am just beginning the bankruptcy process, an appt. has been scheduled for Monday. It is nice to know there are still some good people out there.

  • Cheryl

    Thank you for all your valuable info. I am beginning to realize I am not my credit rating. For me your website has empowered me with information to rise above my debt, as well as the realization that debt does NOT make me less than. I am just beginning the bankruptcy process, an appt. has been scheduled for Monday. It is nice to know there are still some good people out there.

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