Louis Says “I Feel Like Killing Myself Because of My Debts”
Louis wrote to me through the GetOutOfDebt.org site and asked the following question. If you have a credit or debt question you’d like to ask just use the online form. I’m happy to help you totally for free.
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“Dear Steve,
I feel like I’m drowning and I even have suicidal thoughts. I barely make my mortgage payments (minimum interest only). Late on my line of credit payments - threatiing foreclosure. 50+ thousand in student loans.
I would like to sell my condo but the market is so low no one is buying and I would not get enough to pay the mortgage and line of credit. I am sick over this and can not see a way out. Do not know what to do anymore. Very overwhelmed.
Louis”
Dear Louis,
First, let me say that debt can kill you if you get too stressed about it and have a heart attack or fill your body with pills or lead. Debt is not worth dying over. I realize that is an easy statement to make but I once felt like you did, looking back on the situation years latter you’ll get the “What was I thinking perspective” also.
Let’s look at what is making you feel low and blue. Those emotions that are racing through and leaving you depressed are more about the sorrow of leaving a lifestyle and routine that you have enjoyed than about the debt. The mere fact that your assets are worth less than what you owe is just a numerical reality. That math does not judge you at all. You judge you. I judged me.
Those feelings can be addressed in two simple ways. The first thing you should do is seek medical help with your depression and thoughts of suicide. A combination of medications and/or talk therapy will make a world of difference for you. I wish I had done that. Instead I lived through three dark years of self-created hell. There is no need for you to do that.
Second, you will begin to feel better about your situation if you stop letting it drag you along as a victim and you stand up and take some control over it.
If you’ve got $50,000 in student loans then you have some education and skills behind you, that if you can refocus on looking forward, will serve you well.
The things that are anchors around your neck at the moment are the interest only mortgage, condo and credit card debts. The student loans are yours for life and there are some ways to restructure those but until you get these other things under control, it is unlikely that restructuring the student loans will make much of a difference.
Here is a possible scenario that you can put into action all at the same time. Let me know what you think of it.
- Seek medical help for your suicidal feelings and depression.
- Find a new place to live.
- Move out of the condo and stop making mortgage or condo payments.
- Stop paying your credit cards.
- Talk to a bankruptcy lawyer, get a free bankruptcy review of your situation and go bankrupt.
- The mortgage holder and condo association will come after you for payments.
- The credit card company will chase you for payments.
- Go bankrupt and discharge the debt that you will not be able to repay so you can start over.
- Start a new financial life that is filled with hope and not thoughts of killing yourself.
The sadness really hits when you realize that you will lose your condo. But rather than failure, it is simply reality and has nothing to do with your value as a member of society or self-worth. It is what it is.
If you follow this or a similar plan of action what you will find that instead of trying to repair a broken past, you can learn from what you have lived through and create a better future for yourself, your career, and for those friends and family that love you.
Big hug.
Steve
Source: Louis Says “I Feel Like Killing Myself Because of My Debts”
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Comments
Ted,
Thank you for your comment and feedback. Part of the issue here is the other shoe, as in waiting for it to drop. It is unsettling to be in limbo, waiting for the foreclosure to go through and not being able to move forward with your life, but to exist, until…
While there has been talk about a moratorium on foreclosures there is no federal law blocking them at this time.
Even if he starts to pay down his other debt, the problem is that unless he is able to pay it in full, he has thrown away both time and money that he could otherwise use to move ahead with a new and stable life.
There is never one absolute path and I hope that Louis reads your comments for an alternate point of view.
Steve
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Are you crazy? Louis shouldn’t move out of his condo. There is a foreclosure moratorium on. It will take the bank months, if not years, to kick him out. He should stop paying the mortgage and use the money he saves to pay down his other debts.