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I Was in a Severe Abusive Controlling Relationship That Has Left Me In Financial Ruin. – Tammy

“Dear Jon,

I was in a severe controlling relationship, through abuse, infidelity and financial ruins. My husband and I separated and divorced, and we went from a mutual agreement to share our enormous debt, to me stuck with everything that even a court order can’t protect me from. My credit is beyond destroyed, and I am pleading with RBC legal department to accept an offer on the joint debt owed by us and release me, however they will not agree and I am going to end up being chased and responsible for debt I didn’t even accumulate. I am a single mom of three kids with a great job, but don’t know what to do.

I make good money, but due to my extensive debt, and trying to start a new life with horrible credit with my family, I am uncertain of what to do. My ex husband and I owe RBC at least $120,000.00, plus an additional $10,000.00 to $15,000.00 dispersed in smaller amounts, not counting my vehicle and expenses. I don’t have enough to pay in full, they won’t settle, and I can’t run forever. The court ordered my name be removed from 90,000.00 of his debt, but in the eyes of the bank, they don’t honour that, because I was married to him and it’s joint, they are still coming after me. If I claim bankruptcy, I heard I won’t be able to afford to survive, and if I pay, it will hurt me in large payments for years. I am trying to start a new life, and is difficult when I have this hanging over me. What should I do?


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The Answer


It does sound like a very difficult time for you, and it is unfortunate that in many situations when people get separated or divorced and they have joint debts, one or both of the parties involved wind up struggling down the financial road in repaying the accounts/debts.

A couple of questions:

What state do you live in?

Have you discussed this with your attorney?

Are you working and can you afford to pay anything towards the debts?

Has RBC or any of the creditors spoke with your ex or chased him for payments as well?

While I cannot tell you what to do, bankruptcy does sound like a strong option for you, but you would need to speak to a bankruptcy attorney in your area to get more information on this. You may find bankruptcy may be the answer for you to get a swift and clean break from the whole mess.

You can click here to find a local bankruptcy attorney to discuss this situation with to eliminate your liability for the debts and get a fresh financial start.

Let me know.



I Was in a Severe Abusive Controlling Relationship That Has Left Me In Financial Ruin.   TammyJon Emge is an experienced UK debt advisor who has helped thousands and thousands of people in the UK to deal with problem debt. Jon specialises in finding good solutions for problem debt using a variety of UK specific techniques.

If you have a question you’d like to ask about how to get out of UK debt, just use the online form. I’m happy to help you for free.

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