37 years old, 2 kids 11 and 10. I served in Iraq. Suffering now with severe mental issues.
I grew up abused and joined the Army at 21. I have gone to Iraq. Moments after leaving home my wife moved my kids across the country and filed for divorce.
While serving in a combat zone I was going crazy. I was put on anti depressants but still had to deal with the daily life of deployment.
After returning home I was told by many doctors I had PTSD. I fought in court with my ex and finally got my kids part time, only after drinking myself into a worse situation.
I jumped at the fist opportunity to fill my time and hopefully build a future. I borrowed a ton of money and opened a coffee house. I have struggled for months to get it up and going and now it is showing signs of life.
Unfortunately the debt I built is too much for me to pay and do to poor bookkeeping and poor choices I am forced to close down.
Prior to my deployment I had run a business and done well. I no longer have the ability to make rational decisions and maintain structure.
I know I suffer from some form of PTSD and it has only grown more difficult to do anything. I have put the gun in my mouth many times and feel it is the only way out. I have destroyed my relationships with everyone I know. Now I am have destroyed this business. I no idea what to do!
There is no way for me to know the immediate panic and stress you are going through. The first step, no matter what, is to get you counseling and assistance for the underlying mental health issues, which you so clearly recognize. Good for you.
The first step, in fact I would take right now, would be for you to Get Help for PTSD.
Frankly, the debt is the least of your concerns at the moment. And until you start to get on track with a therapist and treatment for the underlying mental health issues I’d suggest you just let it all go. We can deal with the mess once you start to get healthy with a fresh financial start to clear the decks. That would be with bankruptcy.
You can click here to find a local bankruptcy attorney and talk to them for free about your specific situation. Get the facts and then you can make an informed and educated decision if bankruptcy is right for you.
The PTSD and the resulting financial trauma is leaving you in a double trauma without treatment.
Debt is a math problem wrapped in emotion. The reality of dealing with the debt is very straightforward and if we strip away the emotional roller coaster it creates you will clearly see there is no reason to kill yourself over debt, at all, ever, never, never.
Everything you shared clearly points at the absolutely need to tackle the underlying PTSD and other issues that are driving your thinking at the moment. You must seek that help and make every effort to get that help as soon as possible.
Once you can start to get that treated you can think about starting the long process of applying to the VA for disability benefits.
You are probably a great guy in your core. But you’ve been dealt a fucked up hand. It is what it is and now is the time for you to overcome all those things that are holding you back right now.
I see a better and brighter future ahead for you. I really do.
When I look ahead I see you taking the next six months to just focus on getting your mental health issues addressed and under control. That is your mission, Hooah!
As I said, the debt is easy to deal with once you are feeling like you are ready to focus on it.
Get your mental health on track, we deal with the debt, and then we work to help you regain a relationship with your kids.
Please post your responses and follow-up messages to me on this in the comments section below.I've Put My Gun in My Mouth Many Times to Deal With My Debt. - Matthew by Steve Rhode