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So What Would You Do? I Felt Awkward and Uncomfortable.

The other day a casual friend of ours took Pam and I out for lunch. She was returning the favor since we took her out last time to help her feel better after being laid off. During the lunch it came out that she is having some money troubles, we already knew she was in the middle of a divorce. She also said she has been taking cash advances on credit cards to make ends meet and she and her ex-husband also have a giant house that won’t sell in this market. Yikes! Actually what I said to myself was “Oh crap, this isn’t going to end well.”

So after giving her some loving advice and enjoying a delicious lunch, the bill came. I grabbed the bill. After all that was said during lunch I didn’t want her to use her cash advance money to pay for the lunch. I had just advised her to stop taking cash advances.

But she insisted on paying and said she had invited us to lunch and this was her treat. I eventually let her pay even though I felt bad about it. I made a split second decision to hand her the bill so she didn’t feel worse about her situation than it already was. I didn’t want her self-esteem to take another hit right then. I thought she’d reveled a lot during lunch and I’d given her a lot to think about and deal with.

What would you have done? Would you have handed over the bill or insisted in paying it yourself and told her she could not afford it?

Steve

So What Would You Do? I Felt Awkward and Uncomfortable. by

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About Steve Rhode

Steve Rhode
Steve Rhode is the Get Out of Debt Guy and has been helping good people with bad debt problems since 1994. You can learn more about Steve, here.
  • http://everythingfinanceblog.com/ Jessica @EverythingFinance

    I probably would have asked to at least split the bill and explain that I’m doing so because I care about her. If that didn’t work, I would have let her pay but felt horrible about it.

  • http://jackfoley.net/ jack foley

    No ,

    You did the right thing..

    If she was built differently, she would of let you pay but i admire her honesty and integrity..

    Tough one though.., how emotions get involved with money..

  • http://jackfoley.net/ jack foley

    No ,

    You did the right thing..

    If she was built differently, she would of let you pay but i admire her honesty and integrity..

    Tough one though.., how emotions get involved with money..

  • http://squidkid.org Katinacanwrite

    Sounds like it came to a point where it wasn’t about the money — or where the money came from — but rather allowing someone to have some dignity. It was why you caved, which I think you did the right thing. 

  • Mary

    She’s probably going to discharge that cash advance in a bankruptcy along with all her other bills. Reimbursing her won’t make any difference.

  • IndianaTeacher

    I would have let her pay (as you did) and then bought her a gift card over a similar amount to a store that sells both necessities such as food and other items or to a restaurant she likes. I would tell her that the gift card was a thank you for the lunch.

  • http://www.ultimatecredit.com Gerri

    Wow! What a tough call. At least she has you to talk with. I bet that makes a huge difference.

  • Justin

    Steve, I probably would have done the same as yourself, than later felt guilty about it…..

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