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Read Only if You Need a Laugh

cdoyle

justball-144x125

Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As i put my hand in his boxers he stands up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. . Read More »

MarcusJones713

justball-144x125

Today, I was at the gym with my friends when they invited me to do a few bench presses. Since I'd never done any before, I decided to start with no weights on the bar and work my way up from there. I wound up pinned beneath the bar, calling for my friend to come free me. Read More »

Anonymous

justball-144x125

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes proceeded to blame the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. Read More »

Tomtom

justball-144x125

Today, I was eating dinner. At a restaurant. Alone. At a table set for twelve. My family had stayed home to watch the replays of the football and didn't think to tell me. REPLAYS. They saw the LIVE GAME last week. I left after about an hour, and people applauded as I walked out. Read More »

DL06

justball-144x125

Today, I met a guy online. We talked all night long and hit it off amazingly. He told me he'd never felt that way about anyone else, and I agreed. He sent me a picture and he was gorgeous. I sent him one after he assured me he didn't care what I looked like. I haven't heard from him since. Read More »

thatwasmiz

justball-144x125

Today, I was at a gay bar and asking a really convincing drag queen about her daily routine. I asked how she tucked her penis in. She responded, "Um, I'm a woman." I said, "Oh I'm sorry, are you pre-op or post-op?" She said, "No, I always have been and always will be a woman, asshole." Read More »

aeterne

justball-144x125

Today, my boss informed me that it is now my responsibility to wash the dishes, since my co-workers are consistently too lazy to clean up after themselves. I have a bachelor's degree. Which I earned at the same university I now work at. Read More »

jessica238

justball-144x125

Today, I bought a new purple shirt and decided to wear it to this charity function I was going to. I thought I looked pretty good in it. Then I got home and realized I left the sticker on. I had an "XL" sticker on my boob all night. Read More »

jerkgirl

justball-144x125

Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. Read More »

eeee

justball-144x125

Today, I was walking slowly and awkwardly down the stairs on my crutches. After two steps, a screw fell out of the left crutch and it collapsed. I now have a broken arm from trying to protect my broken leg as I tumbled down two flights of stairs. Read More »

4gottenmemories

justball-144x125

Today, my mom asked me to look through old VHS tapes to throw away, I found one that said "Ashley's kindergarten Play-'95", I put the tape in, it begins to play, only to see "Days of our lives", "Melrose Place", and "ER". My childhood memories are ranked lower than tv shows. Read More »

ugly

justball-144x125

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. Read More »

phreshrice

justball-144x125

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because apparently I need to "grow up". He is the one who plays excesive Call of Duty and still has Pokemon and Bionicles in his room. Read More »

schoolgrlstaci

justball-144x125

Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a feild sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test infront of all the students and parents. I blew. 06%. Read More »

aviators

justball-144x125

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." Read More »

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