Tag Archives: and-then

AlmostScdOtOf68Bucks

Today, I got accepted to the North America Scholar Consortium as a Member of the Highest Honor, which I had applied for a few weeks ago. Happy to be able to add something good to my resume, I called my mom excitedly, and then Googled it to ascertain the level of prestige. Turns out it’s a scam.

gotmon3y

Today, I was at the beach walking on the boardwalk without a shirt on. Two cute girls are walking my way and I decide to try and impress them by flexing my abs. While I flexed them, I accidentally let a fart out that everyone heard. Everybody, including the girls, laughed hysterically at me.

GT716

Today, I was at work at a local hot dog chain. A child (about 10, who I’ve seen there before) came in to order food for his Dad. He orders very excitedly, and I told him he’d be a great worker here when he gets older. He said “oh no, my Dad says I’m too smart to work in a place like this.”

American Express Customers: Don’t Try This At Home

I hate writing these kinds of stories. On the one hand, it will help those who are currently doing — or thinking about doing — what I am about to write about. On the other hand, there will be some readers who will now go out and do exactly what I am trying to dissuade them from doing. That said, I can’t control what my readers do. They’ll do what they’re going to do. Here’s the deal. A