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bongoboy
Today, I had to go visit my grandma. While in her bathroom, the floss I was using cut my gum, I then proceded to make sounds of slight pain. My grandma was, at the same moment, walking by and said “Don’t masturbate in side of my bathroom you sick teen!” Now my grandma thinks I am a sexual pervert.
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woopwoop
Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed that myself and the woman in front of me were wearing the same shirt. As she was about to leave, I said to her “Hey! I’m wearing that shirt!” She turned to me and replied, “Not in THIS size you aren’t.”
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Fitz
Today, a women drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn’t know that was even possible to do. Now my house is condemned.
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UGH
Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream.
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livay315
Today, my daughters school was putting on a fashion show for charity and all the kids were supposed to ask their mothers to be in it. I asked my daughter about it and she said “well I was going to ask you, but they said only to ‘ask all of your BEAUTIFUL mommies.”
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Crazy09
Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me “don’t worry, it’s not yours.”
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aeterne
Today, my boss informed me that it is now my responsibility to wash the dishes, since my co-workers are consistently too lazy to clean up after themselves. I have a bachelor’s degree. Which I earned at the same university I now work at.
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jessica238
Today, I bought a new purple shirt and decided to wear it to this charity function I was going to. I thought I looked pretty good in it. Then I got home and realized I left the sticker on. I had an “XL” sticker on my boob all night.
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jerkgirl
Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said “let me do it, you’re going to burn me!”. I then burned two layers of skin off my ear.
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Sears, Home Depot May Lose 8% of Holiday Sales on Credit Limits
Sears, Home Depot May Lose 8% of Holiday Sales on Credit Limits Bloomberg - 5 minutes ago Outstanding credit-card debt has risen 75 percent since 1999, while real wages have grown 4 percent in the same period, according to a report last month by …
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Expect Tidal Wave Of Limit Reductions and Credit Card Closures to Hit Before Christmas
Yesterday I wrote about a little old hardware store that had noticed an increase in card purchases over cash. That’s not a good sign if people are using plastic more for routine things and especially in this environment of credit card issuers reducing credit limits, raising interest rates and closing cards.
You see, the credit card [...]
