This May Sound Stupid But I Don’t Know How We Got So Far in Debt? – Kelly

“Dear Steve,

I know this might sound stupid but I just don’t really know how we got ourselves so far in debt.

My husband has always paid all of the bills. I know our debt jumped up 20k when he took selfpaid check out on one of his credit cards because our mortgage was eating up so much of our income. We had to take a higher interest because we had moved to a different state and were essentially starting over.

Anyway, we are now trying to pay on 60k dollars of debt and my income dropped back in July or Aug. I don’t remember – by 500/month. We have gotten our mortgage refinanced through the HAM program and that saved our house.

But we are still short every month. I will be able to make some extra money through bonuses but that won’t come for several months depending on sales.

My question is : We have about 3,000 in the bank now after paying all of our bills for the month but that will decline each month. Should I ask a friend (former customer) who is a millionaire if we could borrow the money to pay off our credit card bills with an interest to him and our house as collateral or should we seek help through a credit counselor and could you please give me direction here because I really don’t know who to trust.

We had excellent credit and I was hoping we wouldn’t have to have it destroyed.

Concerning the option of my friend, he has said to let him know he could help us with anythin but I don’t want to take advantage of his kindness – maybe he didn’t really mean something like this and I don’t want it to harm our relationship. We haven’t been as close since we moved. ?????

Thank you so much in advance for your advice – your testimonials are simply wonderful and you should feel so proud yet humbled that you have been able to help so many people.

See also  How Should I Borrow? The Pros and Cons of Different Types of Loans and Debt Solutions

I feel so terrible that we are in this situation when other people’s reality is so much dimmer and devasting than ours. It’s like you said; there is always something to be greatful for!!


Dear Kelly,

Thank you so much for your kind words and compliments. I do try my best to help.

My point of view on this is probably a bit jaded by all the stuff I’ve seen over the years. Quite frankly, the fastest way to ruin a friendship is by borrowing money from friends. I’ve just seen so many friendships torn apart that way. And quite frankly, what you need most in troubled times are good friends to lean on for friendship.

From what you’ve shared I’m not all that sure a credit counseling program is going to help. I’m not confident you can make your regular credit card payments each month and that’s about what your payment would be in a credit counseling program.

Honestly, with the cash you have in the bank, the surest way to get help and the most legal protection from your creditors would be through a Chapter 13 bankruptcy. It would allow you to keep your house and make payments to your cards based on what you can actually afford.

My advice would be for you to solve this on your own and maintain the friendship separately. Good friends are truly priceless.

Do me a favor, click here to find a local bankruptcy attorney, go talk to them and then report back. I’d like for you to hear what they have to say first.


You are not alone. I'm here to help. There is no need to suffer in silence. We can get through this. Tomorrow can be better than today. Don't give up.

Do you have a question you'd like to ask me for free? Go ahead and click here.
Damon Day - Pro Debt Coach

See also  How Do I Pay My Bills When I Don't Have Enough Money? - Aldo
Follow Me
Steve Rhode is the Get Out of Debt Guy and has been helping good people with bad debt problems since 1994. You can learn more about Steve, here.
Steve Rhode
Follow Me

Leave a Comment