My boyfriend was divorced last year. His ex-wife “walked away” from their marriage, but not before charging up the credit card balances substatially. She decided she didn’t want to deal with their newly purchased home, so she legally signed her rights away and he bought her out for $1.00. After adding lawyer divorce fees to the credit cards, he now has about $20000.00 in credit card debt. Unfortunately, he is now paying $1800/mo for a mortgage that it took both of them to qualify for. He is barely keeping his head above water but has very little “extra” money, so making a dent in the cc debt, saving money, etc is almost impossible. He will never get out from under paying the minimums. He now doesn’t quality for a re-fi, but they won’t consider him for a loan modification because he’s still current. He is upside down on his mortgage. There doesn’t seem to be a way out. He is working (I don’t know his salary). I want to help, but don’t know what to do. He is depressed and his inability to pay for anything as simple as a night of bowling is eating at his self-esteem. He seems paralyzed and overwhelmed by the situation – understandably.
Can you recommend a reputable company/organization that will evaluate his situation and help him make some tough decisions? I’m not sure if bankruptcy is the answer, but he will be in the exact same place in 10+ years if he doesn’t do something.
You’ve got a number of issues going on here. The most debilitating is the depression. Depression and debt is common but it leads people to a place where they are unable to take action so instead the debt situation just blocks out the sun and rolls over them.
This residual debt following divorce is very common.
The major issue is that there is no expectation he will make enough money to dig out of this hole. And even if he could, his depression wouldn’t let him see it anyway.
I would suggest a two stage approach. You will really need to be there for him and help him through this though.
First, encourage him to go and talk to his doctor about the depression. There are great treatments for depression that will help him be able to regain his life instead of being lost in this dark hole.
Second, click here to find a local bankruptcy attorney and take your boyfriend to the appointment to talk about bankruptcy. He needs a solution that will help him to get a fresh start and his life back from an otherwise impossible situation.
You will need to push your boyfriend gently ahead in this so that he actually has a chance to break from from his situation. He needs you more than ever right now.Big Hug!
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