My Husband Does Not Help Me to Pay My Debt. I’m Drowning in Debt. – Jane

“Dear Steve,

I have $80,000 in credit card debt. I make about $50,000. The debt is in my name only. My husband makes about $120,000 a year and pays all the major household bills such as mortgage, car payments, insurance, utilities, etc. My income goes almost entirely to paying down my debt. My question is should I keep plugging away or should I enter into a debt management plan to pay off my debt in 5 years. I don’t want to ruin my credit rating further or end up having credit card companies sue me which is what I heard will happen. I can afford to make my payments but often they are only the minimum based on other expenses I may have that month. What should I do?

Jane”

Dear Jane,

Thank you for writing to me.

I have some questions I’m hoping you can answer for me in the comments section.

  1. What dragged you into this mess? What did you spend $80,000 in credit on?
  2. Was this all your debt? Did your husband participate in it at all?
  3. Are you using all your income to reduce the debt or just making minimum payments?

Before I can direct you down the right path I just need a better understanding of how you got here. If you are not willing to post your responses then you might want to contact Damon Day for a private conversation about your situation.

I understand you are concerned about your credit rating and being sued at the moment. You won’t be sued as long as you make at least the minimum required payment to the credit card companies. And your credit should not be the “sacred cow” you set off limits as you embark on this journey out of debt. Credit can be rebuilt.

Please update me on your progress by

You are not alone. I'm here to help. There is no need to suffer in silence. We can get through this. Tomorrow can be better than today. Don't give up.

See also  Can I Go Bankrupt Even Though I Used the Credit Cards to Get By? - Lee

12 thoughts on “My Husband Does Not Help Me to Pay My Debt. I’m Drowning in Debt. – Jane”

  1. Actually, he really is a great guy. He pays ALL of my living expenses as I stated in my post. I have a very nice house and brand new car all of which he pays for. Why should he pay off my credit card debt when it is MINE?

    Reply
  2. Steven,

    1. Several things caused the debt. One was being out of work for a year after giving birth, but I didn’t adjust my spending so basically that entire year was put on a credit card. Second was over spending but don’t worry, I have “outgrown” that. “Things” no longer matter to me now. I’ve realized that things such as spending time with family are more important.

    2. The debt is basically all mine. My husband didn’t participate in it except that he didn’t help me with expenses much along the way. I don’t totally blame him though, it’s partly my problem. I have a problem asking for help. I’m past that now, too. This month, I asked for help and he wrote me a check for $1,000.00

    3. I am using the majority of my money to pay down my debts. My only other real expense is groceries for my family.

    4. I have decided to really get serious and make a plan. I have decided to put all extra funds to the cards with the highest interest rate. Pay those off first. Then start on the one with lowest interest rate. For example, I have $16,000 balance on a card with only 3.99% interest rate. I’ll pay that one off last.

    Am I on the right track or should I go with a debt management plan.

    Thanks – Jane

    Reply
  3. Steven,

    1. Several things caused the debt. One was being out of work for a year after giving birth, but I didn’t adjust my spending so basically that entire year was put on a credit card. Second was over spending but don’t worry, I have “outgrown” that. “Things” no longer matter to me now. I’ve realized that things such as spending time with family are more important.

    2. The debt is basically all mine. My husband didn’t participate in it except that he didn’t help me with expenses much along the way. I don’t totally blame him though, it’s partly my problem. I have a problem asking for help. I’m past that now, too. This month, I asked for help and he wrote me a check for $1,000.00

    3. I am using the majority of my money to pay down my debts. My only other real expense is groceries for my family.

    4. I have decided to really get serious and make a plan. I have decided to put all extra funds to the cards with the highest interest rate. Pay those off first. Then start on the one with lowest interest rate. For example, I have $16,000 balance on a card with only 3.99% interest rate. I’ll pay that one off last.

    Am I on the right track or should I go with a debt management plan.

    Thanks – Jane

    Reply
    • Jane,

      Since you are able to make the minimum payments then a first step would be for you to look at this non-profit credit counseling program.

      While the path you are on will work, enrolling in a credit counseling can reduce or eliminate your interest rates. Talk to the credit counseling folks and then come back and let me know if you think that will work best for you. If not, let me know and we’ll look at plan B.

      Steve

      Reply
      • Steve,

        I’ve already done that (Take Charge America) and they said for a payment of $1,700 a month (very doable), I could be debt free in 5 years. However, I’m very worried this will adversely affect my credit. Plus, I would have to relinquish all my credit cards which I am hesitant to do. I want to keep ONLY my American Express (must be paid in full every month) for emergencies (or should I not?). I’m really worried the credit companies won’t be happy with the debt management program or the settlement and will sue me. Also, this company, Take Charge America, wants $40 a month for this. Should I really be paying that money for something I could possibly do on my own? I really appreciate your help.

        Reply
        • If you go with an approved credit counseling company, like this one your creditors will not sue you for participating. The cards will be closed but you will receive the benefit of the interest rate reductions.

          If you have high interest rate debt you would like to consolidate then try LendingClub.com for a fixed rate unsecured debt consolidation loan. If you go this route let me know what your loan number is and I would be happy to help fund it. This can help to improve your credit since the loan will be reported to the credit bureaus.

          If you want no impact to your credit and don’t want to close your cards and want to get out of debt then apply all available funds, after minimums to the other cards, to the highest interest rate card you have. Once that one is paid in full you can roll that monthly amount to the next highest rate card.

          Reply
    • Actually, he really is a great guy. He pays ALL of my living expenses as I stated in my post. I have a very nice house and brand new car all of which he pays for. Why should he pay off my credit card debt when it is MINE?

      Reply

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