My Husband Does Not Help Me to Pay My Debt. I’m Drowning in Debt. – Jane

“Dear Steve,

I have $80,000 in credit card debt. I make about $50,000. The debt is in my name only. My husband makes about $120,000 a year and pays all the major household bills such as mortgage, car payments, insurance, utilities, etc. My income goes almost entirely to paying down my debt. My question is should I keep plugging away or should I enter into a debt management plan to pay off my debt in 5 years. I don’t want to ruin my credit rating further or end up having credit card companies sue me which is what I heard will happen. I can afford to make my payments but often they are only the minimum based on other expenses I may have that month. What should I do?


Dear Jane,

Thank you for writing to me.

I have some questions I’m hoping you can answer for me in the comments section.

  1. What dragged you into this mess? What did you spend $80,000 in credit on?
  2. Was this all your debt? Did your husband participate in it at all?
  3. Are you using all your income to reduce the debt or just making minimum payments?

Before I can direct you down the right path I just need a better understanding of how you got here. If you are not willing to post your responses then you might want to contact Damon Day for a private conversation about your situation.

I understand you are concerned about your credit rating and being sued at the moment. You won’t be sued as long as you make at least the minimum required payment to the credit card companies. And your credit should not be the “sacred cow” you set off limits as you embark on this journey out of debt. Credit can be rebuilt.

Please update me on your progress by

You are not alone. I'm here to help. There is no need to suffer in silence. We can get through this. Tomorrow can be better than today. Don't give up.

See also  Falling Behind and Living Check to Check. What Should I Do?

12 thoughts on “My Husband Does Not Help Me to Pay My Debt. I’m Drowning in Debt. – Jane”

  1. If you go with an approved credit counseling company, like this one your creditors will not sue you for participating. The cards will be closed but you will receive the benefit of the interest rate reductions.

    If you have high interest rate debt you would like to consolidate then try for a fixed rate unsecured debt consolidation loan. If you go this route let me know what your loan number is and I would be happy to help fund it. This can help to improve your credit since the loan will be reported to the credit bureaus.

    If you want no impact to your credit and don’t want to close your cards and want to get out of debt then apply all available funds, after minimums to the other cards, to the highest interest rate card you have. Once that one is paid in full you can roll that monthly amount to the next highest rate card.

  2. Steve,

    I’ve already done that (Take Charge America) and they said for a payment of $1,700 a month (very doable), I could be debt free in 5 years. However, I’m very worried this will adversely affect my credit. Plus, I would have to relinquish all my credit cards which I am hesitant to do. I want to keep ONLY my American Express (must be paid in full every month) for emergencies (or should I not?). I’m really worried the credit companies won’t be happy with the debt management program or the settlement and will sue me. Also, this company, Take Charge America, wants $40 a month for this. Should I really be paying that money for something I could possibly do on my own? I really appreciate your help.

  3. Jane,

    Since you are able to make the minimum payments then a first step would be for you to look at this non-profit credit counseling program.

    While the path you are on will work, enrolling in a credit counseling can reduce or eliminate your interest rates. Talk to the credit counseling folks and then come back and let me know if you think that will work best for you. If not, let me know and we’ll look at plan B.



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