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I Am a Recently Divorced Woman That Has Been Taken By a Con Man. – Cheryl

“Dear Steve,

I am a 53 yr. old female. Recently divorced. I have no job right now, but after hooking up with a “conman” , I have maxed out my credit cards. I owe just over 18,000 on two. The “conman” has promised to help, however, he has began to cut off communications with me. His credit is in the toilet and I am now just a bother to him. If he doesn’t pay those bills I am sunk. Up until now I have had excellent credit. So far I have not missed a payment, but it’s torturing me with the stress. Can’t eat or sleep very well and it is getting worse. I am actively looking for a job, but not much hope. The advice I’ve been getting from friends is, go back and get a degree. Just what I need another bill I cannot pay. Both cards are in my name only.

I want a fresh start, but have no money to get an attorney for bankruptcy. I want to take an active roll in finding a solution before it gets any further out-of-control. I called Discover and asked for a lower rate and they told me I could get 9.99 for one year and they would freeze my card . They also want to do a monthly debit from a checking account. Those are the requirements for Discover. Should I go ahead and seek bankruptcy help?? I really want to close this chapter of my life. I have not yet contacted Citi cards. Is it possible to just default on the cards?? I have not found the credit card companies to be of much assistance.

Cheryl”

Dear Cheryl,

When you tell me you don’t have money to get an attorney for bankruptcy that leads me to believe you also have no reasonable expectation to repay these debts.

The situation you describe is not unusual. A woman who has been through a difficult time in life, divorce, death of someone close, etc., is targeted with companionship and that companion uses the target for financial gain. As soon as it appears the good times are over, bank account is empty or credit limit is reached, they move on.

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I have no way of knowing if that is exactly what has happened in your situation but it does not sound promising.

Since both cards are in your name and it does not sound as if they were used without your permission you are going to be responsible for the debt.

Now everything up to this point may weigh heavily on you but don’t despair. While the situation is bad and unfortunate there is a legal way to extract yourself from this mess and get a financial fresh start. You are correct, it will involve bankruptcy.

I think your journey out of debt should start with your reading The Honest and Unvarnished Truth About How to Get Out of Debt.

You can click here to find a local bankruptcy attorney and if you’d like a second opinion about your situation or a personal consultation by another debt coach, please feel free to contact Damon Day.

I need for you to muster up the courage to take action here. Once you do your life will begin to rebound. Until you do the stress and depression will deepen and before you know it you’ll be broke and still in the same spot.

Please post your responses and follow-up messages to me on this in the comments section below.

Sincerly,
Steve

You are not alone. I'm here to help. There is no need to suffer in silence. We can get through this. Tomorrow can be better than today. Don't give up.




About the author

Steve Rhode

Steve Rhode is the Get Out of Debt Guy and has been helping good people with bad debt problems since 1994. You can learn more about Steve, here.

30 Comments

  • Steve, Just when I thought I was getting my depression from bankruptcy under control, I watched a show about people and their debts. This show is the # 1 advice Dr. He had a self-made millionaire on there giving advice. She made a statement that just took me down again.  Her remark was, “people can run from their credit card bills, but they can never escape their credit score”. Because I have to file does this mean I will never recover my good credit? Remember, I am 53.

  • Steve, Just when I thought I was getting my depression from bankruptcy under control, I watched a show about people and their debts. This show is the # 1 advice Dr. He had a self-made millionaire on there giving advice. She made a statement that just took me down again.  Her remark was, “people can run from their credit card bills, but they can never escape their credit score”. Because I have to file does this mean I will never recover my good credit? Remember, I am 53. 

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