Ask The Get Out of Debt Experts Divorce Reader Questions Sallie Mae

My Ex-Wife Was Supposed to Pay Her 100K in Student Loans. I Can’t Find Her. – Patrick

Got married in college…wife and I consolidated student loans through the Devil (Sallie Mae). We got divorced…my name is the primary on the consolidation account.

I am buried in excess of $100,000 in student loan debt that my ex-wife and I borrowed in college. When we got divorced she was required to pay her portion in accordance with the divorce decree.

She moved out of state, and I have no idea where she currently resides. I have been paying the $750+ monthly payment for years now. (I just checked today, and I’ve paid over $62,000 towards the bill and knocked the princial down about $10,000) I’ve been at the same job for about 11 years, and worked my way up to a decent wage to where I was able to make the payment and still afford basic living expenses. (I am currently remarried and have 2 children)

My current wife makes decent money as an RN, and we are getting by. Unfortunately it appears that my job may be in jeopardy, and we can not afford our house payment (it’s a modest 3 bedroom house with a payment of about $600 per month) and my $750+ student loan payment. I’ve asked for years what kind of action I can take to pursue payment from my ex-wife to help soften the blow on this, and I always get the same answer…take her into court on contempt charges…the problem with this is…I have no idea where she lives.

In addition Sallie Mae actually told me they couldn’t care less if she ever paid a penny, because I’m the primary on the loan, so as long as I pay them I’m happy. When I asked for there advice on how to get her to pay too, the gentleman I spoke to suggested I kill myself, then she would be responsible for the loan. Any suggestions on what to do about this mess?

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About the author

Steve Rhode

Steve Rhode is the Get Out of Debt Guy and has been helping good people with bad debt problems since 1994. You can learn more about Steve, here.


  • I am having the same issue–only MY ex and I owe $250,000.00 of which $50,000.00 is mine.  It is primarily in my name and I cannot do ANYTHING to the loan without doing a 3-way conference call.  Direct Loans is my lender.  The court ordered him to pay $650.00 a month to me and he has not paid a DIME.  I had to put it in forebearance because I am a teacher and a mom to 2 girls (not remarried). I simply cannot afford the $1400.00 per month required.  Direct Loans told me to take it up with the US Congress.  As of 2006, Dept. of Ed saw that it was a problem that loans were being consolidated and couples were getting divorced.  I say, there should be a concession of some sort made for the HORRIBLE laws that consolidation of loans follows.  I am going to an attorney next week….I will keep you posted.  I MAY be headed to Washington D.C.  I am a fighter!

  • dear patrick, hire a private investigator to find your ex then file for the back payments due and make her accoutable for the future payments as well…good luck joan

  • dear patrick, hire a private investigator to find your ex then file for the back payments due and make her accoutable for the future payments as well…good luck joan

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