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I Am a Caregiver to My Quadriplegic Husband and We are Maxed Out. – Linda

“Dear Steve,

I am a caregiver to my quadriplegic husband since 2006.The credit cartds are at their limit,I didn`t help any by going overboard at x-mas.Also if something is or says medical it is expensive,and medicaid and medicare only cover so much. So I spend a lot on things for his care and put it on the credit cards. Also his transportation is expensive, we don`t have a van for him. Our tax lady does try to get us good refunds for things but it depends on amt all year.

How can I figure out a payment plan for the bills without cutting his necessities,one plan said to cut these, it is really getting hard to figure out.I have put the credit cards up and am trying to stay away from the sites I was buying things from. I just try to find something to keep us sane. It is hard for people to understand. He has ssi,and a small pension, I get paid by the state to care for him but it doesn`t pay really great,but it helps. So how can I figure this out?


Dear Linda,

Well we have a number of issues going on here. Let me try to tackle them one-by-one.

Tax Refund

I’m a bit concerned that you are getting some “good tax refunds.” What that tells me is you are paying too much in tax each month and could make better use of that money on a monthly basis than waiting till once a year to get it. I’d contact your tax lady and talk to her about getting your withholdings adjusted so you can break-even each year instead of getting the big refund.

Additional Benefits

There may be some additional benefits you qualify for to assist you with his care. I’d start at to explore all that is available. You may also want to spend some time on to find out more about free or low cost transportation alternatives.

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Your Debt

At this point it is probably an unreasonable expect ion for you to be able to afford to repay your debt. That would require you to meet your minimum payments and also pay more on top of that to dig out of this hole. And since you were using the credit to help make ends meet, that’s most likely impossible.

I would suggest you start the journey to deal with the debt by reading How to Get Out of Debt. The Honest and Unvarnished Truth.

Your Spending

You mentioned something very important. You said, “trying to stay away from the sites I was buying things from.” To me that sounds like you may have been using shopping as a stress reliever or way to escape. I’m not criticizing you for that. It is what it is.

Moving forward it’s not going to be possible to keep up those activities. Rather than simply doing without, why don’t we focus on building better spending awareness so you can handle money consciously, rather than trying to medicate yourself with spending. I’d suggest you download a free copy of my book The Path to Happiness and Wealth and get yourself in a position to better handle your spending.

Bottom Line

We can deal with the past debt with bankruptcy to clean the slate, and that’s an obvious approach. You can click here to find a local bankruptcy attorney and talk to them for free.

But more importantly what we need to do is get your current life to fit within your current income without the debt.

Do you think you can make ends meet if you did not have the current debt?

Please post your responses and follow-up messages to me on this in the comments section below.


You are not alone. I'm here to help. There is no need to suffer in silence. We can get through this. Tomorrow can be better than today. Don't give up.

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About the author

Steve Rhode

Steve Rhode is the Get Out of Debt Guy and has been helping good people with bad debt problems since 1994. You can learn more about Steve, here.

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