Quick Answer: Anger toward debt collectors is understandable but counterproductive, as explosive emotions and threats don’t resolve financial problems. Maintaining calm communication and working cooperatively with collectors leads to better outcomes than lashing out or making regrettable statements.
I’ve heard more people issue swear words and threats against creditors and debt collectors than you can imagine.
Having the pressure increase when you are in debt makes good people say and do silly and regrettable things. Many feel those normal emotions but feeling like you are going to explode or wanting to kill the debt collector or yourself is not going to help solve your money troubles.
A good debt collector will listen to your situation and work with you to find a solution. Listen to the interview with the debt collector below. If you don’t see a link to play the interview, visit the original post here:
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Feeling angry, murderous and suicidal are all understandable emotional extremes but those feeling of rage and anger are not going to makes your problems go away. The better and healthier solution is to ask yourself why the situation creates such aggression and rage in you. Most likely it is because you don’t want to be in the situation of having money problems or having to deal with them.
Lashing out or tearing the creditor a new one isn’t energy well spent towards finding a resolution. Keeping a clam head and trying to establish open communications works a lot better.
Now even if you have a prevailing calm and better attitude when the phone rings and it is a collector being nasty on the phone. Imagine what it is like from their side of the phone. All day long a computer is auto-dialing outbound calls for them and connecting them to people that are mean, rude and nasty back. The bill collector is hovered over by management to get so many ‘promises to pay’ each hour and not to spend a lot of time with people on the phone who are not promising to pay or the collector will be penalized. Want to see more about what is expected of a debt collector, watch this recruitment video.
When a debt collector or creditor is calling you for payment, they don’t know you, they are not making a personal judgement about you, you are just another name and number placed in front of them to call. You are nothing more than the widget the bill collector has to deal with at that moment.
They may pretend to make it personal because the collector knows that fear and shame can motivate people but that’s a ploy or trick, not reality.
If you feel your blood pressure rising, your jaw clenching and anger bubbling up, try this approach, kill them with kindness. Working hard to make a friend of the bill collector calling has advantages.
- You Are More Likely To Get Any Leniency Available – If you can make the bill collector your friend you have a better shot of having them go to bat for you when they can on their side. A bill collector is not going to plead the case of a screaming and raging lunatic. But remember, that just because you want to pay does not mean that special reductions can be met. Ultimately, the most agreeable arrangement with the creditor will be for you to pay your bill as you contractually agreed to.
- It Reduces Your Stress – If you can befriend the bill collector then when they call it is less fearful and threatening. This will help you from hiding or cowering in fear. If the phone gets to be too much to manage, then it is okay to escape and hide from the collector for a bit. You can do this easily if you use the two phone suggestion in my article, How to Hide From Debt Collection, the Debt Collector, and Creditors.
It is absolutely normal to feel regret and loss when your finances are in the toilet. But being angry and nasty at your creditors is not going to fix the reality of being behind on your bills, that’s the reason they are calling you.
So if at all possible, be gracious, kind and make a friend of the debt collector and creditors when they call. Not only can it lead to a better outcome, but it makes your life less stressful and more enjoyable as well.
Rather than kill the bill collector, just remember to kill them with kindness, respect and courtesy. And all of that being said, you never have to accept rude and abusive behavior from a bill collector. If they do treat you inappropriately, calmly tell them that you do not need to be spoken to like that, ask for a supervisor, or tell them you are going to hang-up if they can’t be nicer to you.
Before You Sign Anything: Run any debt relief contract through the free Contract Decoder to spot hidden fees and unfair terms. Check the company’s complaint history with the Scam-O-Meter.
Compare Your Real Options: Most debt relief companies won’t tell you about all your options — especially the ones they can’t profit from. Credit counseling has a 21-27% completion rate. Settlement resolves about 1% of enrolled debts fully. Bankruptcy has a 95% discharge rate — and protects your retirement. Take the Find Your Path quiz for a recommendation based on your actual numbers.
