I’m Distraught, Depressed, and Anxious About My Debt. – Janine

“Dear Steve,

I’m a 42 year old professional, recently divorced. I took all the debt, left him all the assets, i.e. collateral, for a 401k distribution as settlement, which I’ve basically been triple taxed on and came out still far down in the hole. Then I got laid off and have been in the process of starting my own company back up, but have been unable to secure any capital to properly fund the venture, nor to sustain myself through the transition of my new receivables, thanks to my bad credit still lingering and remaining behind on my obligations. I make a good income and have only needed the global fix, so to speak, to consolidate and settle out the remaining accounts and have something reasonable to contend with.

Given my situation, what would you recommend for me? I’ve quite honestly been so distraught and depressed and anxious, it’s severely affected my focus, my relationships and my health. I’ve looked everywhere and tried everything. I feel like I’m constantly backstroking and spinning my wheels, getting nowhere. I had a commitment for a loan that fell through and now I’m in serious dire straits, facing eviction, repossession, no funds to appropriately operate my business, pay expenses or take care of daily survival necessities at the moment. Any advice you would have to offer would be greatly appreciated, as I’m literally hanging by a thread. Thanks so much.


Dear Janine,

First off, let me share this video with you I recently made. It describes the emotional path you are on. You can read more about this here.

What I need for you to do is to see if you can find a way to separate your emotional reaction from recent events from that part of your brain to processes issues in a reasonable and logical manner. It’s a tough request for me to make for sure.

I’ve got some initial ideas that will allow you to close the door on this situation and move forward with an opportunity to have a new financial life but I have some questions first.

  1. Can you please describe for me the type and amount of debt you currently have and if you have any assets of any value still in your name.
  2. What line of business are you in?
See also  I've Lost My Father to His Debt. - Nicole

I’d suggest you read How to Get Out of Debt. The Honest and Unvarnished Truth and The Truth About The Success Rates, Failure Rates and Completion Rates of Credit Counseling, Debt Settlement, and Bankruptcy. They will give you a great overview of what we need to deal with to get you moving in the right direction.

Then use the free How to Get Out of Debt Calculator to review your options.

Please post your responses and follow-up messages to me on this in the comments section below.


You are not alone. I'm here to help. There is no need to suffer in silence. We can get through this. Tomorrow can be better than today. Don't give up.
Damon Day - Pro Debt Coach

3 thoughts on “I’m Distraught, Depressed, and Anxious About My Debt. – Janine”

  1. Thank you so much, Steve.  I’m completely overwhelmed and paralyzed.  I never dreamed I’d be sitting here, as so many others, I’m sure. 

  2. Thank you for your reply, Steve.  I’m hanging by a thread.  I currently have a car loan, which I’m behind on, with a balance of about 10k at 19% interest.  I have a workout loan with one of my creditors, which is fairly current.   I have several collection accounts that I could settle out for less than 10k.  I also owe some individuals who have helped me with “bandaids” here and there through this journey.  I attempted to start my business with absolutely no funds or means to acquire any and that’s why I’m failing, spending far too much time, energy and focus on daily survival and depression.   I’ve been in my profession of court reporting for twenty years, have a loyal following of clients and the potential to make the venture a huge success if I could break out of everything overwhelming me and have something manageable to deal with.  I often don’t have big enough “blinders” to throw up to it all to give the proper focus to the task at hand.  I have no assets remaining in my name, only the debt.  I left my ex-husband a waterfront house & all its contents, boat, RV, truck, motorcycle and various other “toys” and left with a mound of debt and a distribution that wasn’t nearly enough to cover it all.   I left him with a mortgage only and no requirement to pay any support to me or for our son because I have the ability to earn a good living but have fallen down.  I so greatly appreciate your time and attention.   I’m feeling very desperate and quite hopeless and it’s embarrassing, as my career is in the legal field.  Thank you.  

    • OK, I think it’s time to start over. This is actually quite common following a divorce. Basically the breakup left you so far down the hole it’s going to be darn near impossible to crawl out without some sort of intervention.

      And don’t feel embarrassed about the legal profession connection. Over the years I’ve helped many attorneys through similar events. It just is what it is.

      Let’s get you in front of a local bankruptcy attorney so you can discuss your situation openly. https://getoutofdebt.org/best-chapter-7-and-chapter-13-bankruptcy-attorney-directory/

      By tackling the underlying debt issue it will actually give you a better chance of building that new successful business. Imagine life each day without the stress and worry. You’ll go far.

      No sense wasting a perfectly good mistake. Let’s take action, learn from the situation, and move forward. Future financial success is the best revenge for a past financial bump in the road.

      Keep me posted.

      And by the way, I believe in you.


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