Ask The Get Out of Debt Experts Getting Out of Debt How To Get Out Of Debt

How Can I Convince My Friend to Start Over and Move to California? – Lindsey

“Dear Steve,

My question is about a very close friend of mine who is in a bad situation with his debt. He made some mistakes when he was about 20 which caused him to endure some pretty heavy credit card debt. Then, he had kidney failure and cancer in his mid-twenties, and thus incurred even more debt from medical expenses which he could not pay.

He is 28 and currently works at a job in a restaurant because he’s making a very good salary based on his level of education, and he has been there for years. I personally see the toll that this job has on his physical, mental, and intellectual well-being. It’s not just that it’s a job he hates…we’ve all been there. It’s that I see the toll that it takes on his health (he’s working crazy hours) and his well-being (he’s living his life at the mercy of this job and this boss, and he can’t quit because he feels he’ll never find a job that pays that well again.)

Now, I’m trying to convince him to quit his job and move to California, which most people think is crazy advice. I just know he’d fit in a lot better out here and have outlets for his creativity that he doesn’t have at home. He still has a ton of debt, and obviously it would cost money to move and he’d have no stable income once he got here. I could help him out a bit, but I’m struggling to make ends meet myself. I’m giving this advice based on the well-being of my friend. I don’t want him to spend the rest of his life at the mercy of his debt. I want to see him happy. He has no family or real friends where he lives now.

I myself know very little about finances and money situations. I’m young and my family helped me out.

So my question is, who can I turn to to help my friend make such a decision? Can he get in trouble more than he already is for leaving the state? He won’t talk to me about his financial situation because he’s embarrassed (not to mention I don’t know much) so what resources are there that could help him? I’m scared of getting scammed…any help or advice would be much appreciated.



Dear Lindsey,

I’m not sure it’s really an issue of convincing but helping your friend to clearly prioritize what his reality and goals are.

Ask him to read this post, You Ain’t Your Fucking Debt

I’d suggest you first read How to Get Out of Debt. The Honest and Unvarnished Truth and The Truth About The Success Rates, Failure Rates and Completion Rates of Credit Counseling, Debt Settlement, and Bankruptcy. They will give you a great overview of what we need to deal with to get you moving in the right direction.

Then use the free How to Get Out of Debt Calculator to review your options.

Once you’ve identified a company you want to work with, then follow my step-by-step guide on how to check out a debt relief company.

Please post your responses and follow-up messages to me on this in the comments section below.


You are not alone. I'm here to help. There is no need to suffer in silence. We can get through this. Tomorrow can be better than today. Don't give up.

About the author

Steve Rhode

Steve Rhode is the Get Out of Debt Guy and has been helping good people with bad debt problems since 1994. You can learn more about Steve, here.

Leave a Comment

Scroll to Top