Martina
“Dear Steve,
I am a single mother of a 5 year old princess. I don’t get child support and at one point in my life about 6 years ago I was debt free with only my house payment, utilities and food. Then from there I pretty much have gone down hill. I had credit cards that I maxed out then refinanced the house and got a second mortgage to pay them off, then got back into them, paid them off again and now this third time, I just stopped paying all credit and personal loans off because i could not stay above water.
My property taxes are almost 3 years delinquent and I am stressing about that big time because my credit sucks and I can’t get a loan to save my life. It has been about three years that the creditors haven’t been paid and since I disconnected my home phone, they can’t get a hold of me.
Truth be told, I have spoken with an attorney regarding bankruptcy and because it’s been awhile I don’t remember what he said. I think because there was a chance that I could lose my house, that is why I didn’t follow through with it. But now, I need to know what to do. All I can think about these days is when are these creditors going to start suing me or garnishing my wages. I can’t have that happen because I can’t afford to feed my little girl as it is. I see my situation as the most dire that I have seen or even read about. I am at the end of my rope. Please give me any suggestions or shall I say please give me direction.
Thank you so much for your time and consideration
Martina”
Dear Martina,
I’m so sorry that you are living with this stress and fear. Let’s see if I can get you headed in the right direction.
I’m curious why you don’t get child support? If you have not pursued claiming child support you should. That money is needed by your child, your princess, to properly care for her. You should pursue your claim for child support on her behalf.
Your debt story is a revolving door of continuing down an unsustainable path, a dead end. If you are borrowing money to pay off debts, only to run the debts back up again then the bigger underlying issue here is that you do not have enough money coming into the home to fund your lifestyle, even if that lifestyle is not extreme.
In situations like this I have often seen parents overspending on their children out of guilt or wanting love. I’m not saying you are doing this but it would be an area to be introspective about to help you better understand where your money is going.
To be deadly honest, I don’t see a magical solution to your situation. To continue to delay facing it only leads you into a deeper corner where you have fewer real solutions. I seriously doubt a second job is going to save you or some debt management plan. Realistically, with the amount of past financial baggage and liabilities you are dragging forward with you, I think you need to seriously consider bankruptcy. Bankruptcy will eliminate your fear and worry about getting sued and depending on your situation you can discharge most of your debts and get a fresh start.
The next phase of your life will be without the worry of the past but you will have to find a way to live within your income. Your credit will be damaged in the short-term by bankruptcy but it is already trashed now. The last thing you need right now is more credit.
But after bankruptcy you will become eligible for credit again. It is not a forever punishment. You will be able to buy a house with a down payment and you will get credit again.
The time has come to face the possibility that bankruptcy is the most responsible thing you can do right now to protect you and you precious daughter. Click here for bankruptcy information.
Please come back and let me know what you decide to do.
You are not alone. I'm here to help. There is no need to suffer in silence. We can get through this. Tomorrow can be better than today. Don't give up.
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