Latest Posts • Latest Episodes • Free Tools

Hidden Debt From Spouse: What to Do Now

Quick Answer: Hidden debt cannot be concealed during mortgage refinancing as it appears on joint credit reports tied to social security numbers. The $4,000 debt won’t necessarily ruin good credit, but financial transparency with spouses typically leads to productive discussions and joint debt resolution plans.

“Dear Steve,

Well me and my husband have been going through some hard times lately and I have been using my credit cards unbenounced to him just to get by. I have over the last year and a half racked up about 4000 in credit.

I transferred all my credit cards to a 0% interest card for one year and I am slowly trying to pay it off. Heres my problem, my husband mentioned us refinancing our home. I know my credit debt will show up if we do that and there goes the end of my marriage!

The part the headline left out

Each weekday I send one short email: one money story that caught my attention, why it might matter to you, and one manageable thing you can do with it. A couple of minutes, and a dad joke.

In the latest issue (Oct 16): The check that looks like a scam may be real

Free. I sell nothing. Unsubscribe any time.

Or read a few issues first

My question is, is there anything I can do so the debt does not show up? I know I can pay it off, but it will just take me a while. Also we have good credit, am I blowing that by having this debt?

The Daily Money Brief — Free, at 10 AM

Money you may be owed, scams to dodge, and the fine print decoded — the consumer money news that affects your wallet, every weekday.

No spam. Your email stays private.

Cheryl”

Dear Cheryl,

Ultimately the debt is not the underlying issue and problem here, the hiding the spending and using secret credit is the issue. I’m afraid the die was cast on that first day you could not repay what you owed, that month.

Debt Coach

Do you have a consumer debt question you'd like help with?

Contact Damon Day →

Over the years I’ve seen this same situation over and over again. I can tell you from experience that what typically happens is that an event releases the secret, the couple will have a stern discussion about the situation, the mood in the house may be chilly for a week, but soon, very soon, the couple starts talking together and comes up with a plan for how to deal with this.

There is no way to hide debt that is associated with your name and social security number. When the joint credit report is pulled, it will appear. But even if there was some magic way to hide it, that would not be wise for you to do.

Apparently you want to continue hiding the debt, but like almost any other substance abuser, you need to be outed to face the reality of your situation.

Hiding debt from your spouse is never advisable or cool. If you are a couple and you can’t share this blemish, how strong is your relationship?

My advice, from experience, is for you to get a copy of your consolidated credit report today, sit down with your husband tomorrow, share the reality of what has happened and ask for his help and support so you can dig yourself out of this hole. Tell him what your plan is so he can see that you’re serious about this situation.

Your husband has a right to be mad, not because you ran up debt, but because you are not being honest with him and keeping this from him.

It’s time to do the adult thing here. Stand up, face the music, and accept the consequences of your actions. After you’ve done all of that I want you to remember how this situation made you feel and remember that feeling so you never do this ever again.

Free Newsletter

Your Money Actually

The unfiltered debt takes I can't fit on this site — for people making good money who are still drowning in debt.

Dealing With Debt? Understanding your options is the first step. See how all your debt relief options compare — including ones most sites won’t tell you about. The Find Your Path quiz gives a recommendation based on your actual numbers, and the Scam-O-Meter checks any company’s complaint history before you sign. Federal Reserve research shows bankruptcy filers recover faster than those who don’t file.

author avatar
Steve Rhode The Get Out of Debt Guy | Consumer Debt Expert
Consumer debt expert & investigative writer. Personal bankruptcy survivor (1990). Washington Post award-winning author. Exposing debt scams since 1994.

1 thought on “Hidden Debt From Spouse: What to Do Now”

Leave a Comment