This video downloaded on my Tivo the other day and I thought I was going to laugh my ass off. I hesitated in sharing it with you at first due to the language. If you get offended by R language, don’t watch it. Otherwise, enjoy.
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, ‘If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would … Read more
My daughter saw this interesting license plate and snapped a picture of it to share with you. Oh so true. “In Debt For Life” Get Out of Debt Guy – Twitter, G+, Facebook
I was killing some time and wondered if I could find a song about the repo man. I sure did. but it contained some adult language in it. I could not remember if motherfucker was one word or two so I Googled it. It’s apparently one word, well at least according to Wikipedia, which I … Read more
Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday.
Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn’s pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing “Awwwwww” I wrote “Ewwwwww” by mistake.
Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream.
Today, my daughters school was putting on a fashion show for charity and all the kids were supposed to ask their mothers to be in it. I asked my daughter about it and she said “well I was going to ask you, but they said only to ‘ask all of your BEAUTIFUL mommies.”
Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me “don’t worry, it’s not yours.”
Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, “Your nuts!” She meant, “YOU’RE nuts.” I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence.
Today, I took my dog to the puppy park to meet girls. I met one very attractive girl, she loved my puppy, and she asked for my number. As she took out her phone my dog proceeded to defecate on her feet. She was wearing sandals.
Today, I saw a letter from Geneseo that invited me to apply to the honors college. Excited, I wrote the required two page essay on how I am organized. I then saw the strict deadline was March 15th. My little brother thought it would be funny to hide my mail. For the past seven weeks.
Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph.
Today, I saw my train pulling in to the station. I sprinted up the stairs and luckily made the train. I looked around and no one was in my compartment. I began to notice that the train was heading down some tracks I’d never been too. I got stuck on an empty train for 3 hours in the train garage.