Quick Answer: Hidden debt from one spouse rarely leads to divorce, though initial anger is common. Financial expert Steve Siebold advises that debt confessions typically result in couples working together after a few days of processing, making voluntary disclosure better than letting the secret surface unexpectedly.
“Dear Steve,
I am in severe debt and have no one to talk to about it. I am married, husband does not know. I have been keeping it a secret. It is about to kill me. I know that he will divorce me when he finds out. I am 64 years of age and never thought I would be like this.
Pat”
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Dear Pat,
Will he divorce you, he might, it’s always possible. But in all my many years of helping people with money troubles it happens less than you imagine.
Typically what happens is following the debt confession by one spouse, the other is really pissed off for a few days. After having a short time to process the information they come together to deal with the situation.
One way or another this is going to come out. It can either be on your terms or you can let it be an unpleasant surprise that is out of your control.
Tell me more about how much you owe and if we are talking about credit card debt or something else.
Is this something that’s been going on for a while?
Most importantly I’m interested in what the spending was for. Was it to make ends meet, entertain yourself, reduce stress, or some other reason.
We can deal with the debt but unless you get some clarity about why this debt occurred and built you are more likely to repeat the same situation again.
Let’s break this down into steps.
Your homework is to post a comment to me below with the answers to these question I’ve asked.
And by the way, you also owe me two comments on other reader questions.
Please post your responses and follow-up messages to me on this in the comments section below.
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