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Newlywed Full Time Student and Can’t Make Ends Meet. – Leah

Consumer Complaint Submission
Written by Consumer

I just got married and am a full time student. I have scholarships to pay for schooling and a part time job. But my husband hasn’t found any work in this small college town and doesn’t seem motivated to find one even though I’m stressed out about it and I have been trying to help him find a job and have expressed to him that he needs a job.

He’s looked What do I do? we won’t have enough money to pay rent in a month and my parents are broke from my dad’s liver transplant. how can we stretch the little money we have left?

Leah




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Consumer

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14 Comments

  • Leah,

    Being retired military LTC USARNC  I am a firm believer in the education, leadership, training, and strength that can be obtained from joining the US Military.  Pay, health benefits, life insurance, and most of all pride from within.  Has your husband considered this route?  You can stay in school, perhaps in a dorm while he gets himself settled, taking classes on line when you are able to join him at a base.  Just remember What doesn’t kill us will make us stronger….find a place locally to perhaps destress for free…yoga…meditation…also it is amazing the help a local church can provide, if even free counseling for you marriage.   Best of luck..

  • Check to see if you’re eligible for government grants. Every year the government gives away free money and you might be able to receive some. That can temporarily help out. Sometimes the government also has grants according to your situation, so don’t be shy and try to research to get some help that you don’t have to pay back. I’m currently in the process of trying to get a kit that allows me to know my options. Still testing it out, so wish me luck. I’ve gotten positive feedback so far. Wish you all the best. Sometimes tough love is the best kind to give. Honestly,  if you’re stressed out and he doesn’t realize that,   and is not willing to help,  maybe you need to give him a little stress in the form of an ultimatum, “Do something or else!” You seem like you’re on the edge of a nervous breakdown. If a child tells his parent,  “I’m hungry.” and the parent says, ”I love you.” the hunger need is still not fulfilled. There is a decision that has to be taken. Don’t let that child starve!

  • Tell him if he wants things to work out until you finish your studies he needs to do his part. Any income will help. Also try to file for assistance for rent or utilities.

  •  Leah,

    I imagine your scholarships require that you retain full time student status, so part time probably is not an option. Have you considered having him ask his family for help since he is unemployed? 2 things may arise here…1.) He’ll realize that he shouldnt be asking for help in his marriage, as a grown man. He should be finding a job. That may be the reality check he needs. 2.) They may actually help, while you are still in school.

  • Hello Leah, First, I would take care of your self. Meaning, I know bills are stressful.  You are going to be stressed regardless so take a moment for you.  Don’t worry what the husband is doing for now. Take care of your backyard (just for the moment to plant seeds so to speak.) You get the second job or do what ever it takes to make rent, food, etc. You obviously married someone you trusted and believed in.  Some people handle stress differently. Since you are the go getter be the go getter. Your husband will notice that you are going balls to the wall and will notice you have stopped nagging. Don’t worry what he thinks at the moment since he isnt contributing. You make the decisions and once he decides to join in then do it as a couple.  But for now, pay whats important.  Rent, food, utilities. 

    • Sometimes ignoring someone is not the solution. They can become even lazier and more dependent on you, which will add to your stress. If you’re already drowning, don’t add weights to your foot and wonder why you’re incapable of saving yourself.  Listen to that voice from within (woman’s intuition).  Many times we shush that voice and end up in worse situations. You know what you have to do! Don’t worry about pleasing others because at the end of the day,  you only have one person that you have to please—and that’s you. Take time out to plan your next step, and do nothing impulsively. Always have a plan B to fall on. Research if you have to because nothing in life comes easy.

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