When you are dying under the crush of debt or the pressure of financial catastrophe, take a moment, a breath, and find some image that helps you to relax. This one helps me to relax.
There is everyday beauty around you. There is plenty to be grateful for. Self-punishment and thoughts of suicide are not helpful and not rational.
Instead of playing the victim and feeling abused by your creditors, take special pleasure in hunting down a kind statement you can utter to another or just a pleasant view that bring you peace. Enjoy giving and receiving kindness.
For me, I find my daily beauty in my photography. It separates me from my everyday life and the pain I feel from your debt problems.
Maybe exploring a hobby like photography, with a camera and supplies you already have, would be a helpful thing to consider. But only if art and expression provides you with relaxation and compassion for the life you are blessed to be living.
There is beauty in crisis and images of comfort in disaster. You just have to search hard to find that rare nugget to be happy for.