Charlotte Writes In, “I’m Desperate To Get Out of Debt”

Charlotte wrote to me at GetOutOfDebt.org and asked for free advice and help, which I gladly give. You can write me using the forms on the site.


I owe nearly $20,000 on a loan, a bunch of credit cards and some store cards as well. I’m 27 and I still live with my parents because I just can’t get ahead.

I can’t pay my bills, live on my own, or have my own life until I can get ride of this debt.

This must be my fault because I don’t work hard enough. My 22 hour a week job is a joy and I don’t want to quit but I want to make more money.

I’ve worked full time before and the thought of going back to a full time job I will hate makes me so depressed.

You see I want to be a writer and I spend a lot of time trying to become one.

I want to do something I love, but to get there I have to invest the time and find a way to be able to afford to do what I want to do. Some days feel hopeless, most days actually.”

Dear Charlotte,

Thank you for writing me.

Rather than look at your situation as hopeless, it actually looks like there is some hope.

Sure, being 27 and living at home with the parents is a downer. It can feel oppressive and that you have no life of your own. That is actually your reality at the moment, but rather than look at it as a curse, your sentence or punishment, why not just look at it as your cross to bear right now on your path to a better future.

The vast majority of writers make little to no money. We write because we love to write. Some are elegant, talented and poetic writers. Others are like me. LOL

Just the other day I was telling someone that the reason I had some jobs that I hated, was not the attitude of the job, it was my attitude. I did not want to be there because I certainly deserved to be some place else having more fun. That was silly thinking. I was not hired for my enjoyment, I was hired to do whatever my employer wanted me to do during my alloted time.

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“You want coffee?”

“With cream and sugar?”, should have been my response.

Do You Have a Question You'd Like Help With? Contact Debt Coach Damon Day. Click here to reach Damon.

Finding something that you love to do is a rare experience for many. Instead they hate their jobs, have nothing joyful to pursue, are dissatisfied with their families and spouse and just all around nasty bags of bones and flesh.

That doesn’t have to be you. You don’t have to give up your dreams to pursue a different future. If anything, maybe just a bit of rearranging is in order.

My suggestion would be to rearrange your life by getting a full time job, adopt a mental attitude that this job is helping you to achieve your dreams, move out, get a roommate, focus on saving money and write, write, write.

There is plenty of time to write if it is your love and passion. I wrote a book in three days on a trip once. If you are passionate about writing and you’ve got something to say, you will be able to write, even after a tough 40 work week.

The pivotal moment for you is if these uncomfortable facets of your current life become excuses that hold you back rather than hurdles to overcome. I say make them hurdles that you’ll cross.

Until you do begin to achieve some of your goals, like moving out or writing professionally it would not surprise me at all if you made little to no progress of reducing your debt. Your debt will ebb and flow with your emotional outlook on your life does. When you think it is bleak you will most likely unconsciously spend to cheer yourself up. And when you are feeling better about the future you will lament about the size of your debt and it will feel hopeless.

The debt is the debt. Stop going further into debt, tread water till you can make some life changes and develop a path that will lead you to a better outlook and that will lead you to success. When you do make these changes it will be easy to face tomorrow and do what you have to do to get out of debt and look forward to your real and authentic life.

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Steve Rhode is the Get Out of Debt Guy and has been helping good people with bad debt problems since 1994. You can learn more about Steve, here.
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