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I Feel Like a Loser and Keep Trying to Kill Myself and Commit Suicide Because of My Debt. – Scott

“Dear Steve,

My situation is no different from the others who contemplate suicide as a means to an end.My problem is,I have already attempted,but,obviously failed.The medical bills incurred from the attempt have now balooned to over 7k.I own a home with 50k remaining on the mortgage,and a trust of @150k earmarked to pay the mortgage note ONLY..My current position,(which I am losing this week) just barely allowed me to meet the basic living expenses.However,the HOA fees and property taxes are 3 years in arrears,and total over 10k.I have nothing in savings or checking,am single,and have no one to turn to once the township reposseses my home..The medical debt is now in garnishment stage,and I can’t afford filing Chapter 13 since I won’t be able to meet the trustee’s required payment.I am 47,no job prospects aside from more minimum wage hell.Local shelters advised me to look elsewhere for help,and no family or friends are willing to house an usemployable loser.I do have about 20k in a 401k,but that’s it.

There were 3 prior suicide attempts,all due to financial stress.I can’t afford,nor can I be admitted to grad school since my undergarduate grades were so lousy.My executor of the trust has explained I did this to myself,as I wasn’t the most financially frugal the past few years,and he is right.Besides bankruptcy,is there another alternative to locking my car in the garage and turning on the gas?

Scott”

Dear Scott,

First off let me say you are not alone in those feelings. I get the point you feel hopeless and without a plausible future but feeling that way and reality are often two entirely different outcomes.

You feel like a loser and it doesn’t matter what I say if that is the internal voice you have. The truth though is the only person judging you that matters is yourself.

People someone times ask me what the secret to success is. They expect clever answers or little known tricks. The secret is damn hard work. The secret to getting past your situation will be damn hard work as well.

Debt doesn’t kill people, people kill people. If you have it set in your mind that suicide is the only way out then one of these attempts may be successful and that would be a shame for it is an illogical outcome.

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Debt is just debt. The symptoms of debt can be not pleasant but it’s not fatal unless we let the stress kills us or internalize it so much that we kill ourselves.

Let’s distill this to the basic issue, you have a financial obligation you can’t pay. That’s it. And there are ways to deal with such an issue. You can either ignore it and get sued and garnished, workout a repayment arrangement or file bankruptcy.

If you have not already done so I would strongly suggest you click here to find a local bankruptcy attorney and discuss your situation with them. I’m surprised by your statement you can’t afford a trustee payment when the payment is based on your income and expenses. Something must be holding you back from making the required payment but I’m not sure what that is.

But most importantly, it is the access to appropriate mental health care I feel you need above debt help. If we can get the depression and underlying issues addressed then the recovery from the debt will be easier and faster.

If you have any equity in your home, sell it before you lose it.

If you don’t have any equity you might be able to recapture then a discussion with the bankruptcy attorney and a game plan to deal with the residual mortgage debt is in order.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

Rather than lamenting what isn’t, rejoice in the fact there are options and as long as you are willing to apply hard work and change to the situation it can be a whole lot better.

Please post your responses and follow-up messages to me on this in the comments section below.

Sincerly,
Steve

You are not alone. I'm here to help. There is no need to suffer in silence. We can get through this. Tomorrow can be better than today. Don't give up.

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About the author

Steve Rhode

Steve Rhode is the Get Out of Debt Guy and has been helping good people with bad debt problems since 1994. You can learn more about Steve, here.

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