Life is becoming much more complex these days. My mother has been undergoing extended treatment for her advanced ovarian cancer and is struggling with all that comes along with that.
This past weekend she awoke very confused, weak, and complaining of pain and an ambulance had to be called to rush her to the emergency room. She was too weak to even sit up.
Between chemo, medications, new symptoms, new underlying issues, and worry, having a loved one dealing with any form of cancer is a major event in an otherwise normal life.
I’m certainly not complaining about how this impacts my daily life. There is no doubt that it impacts her life much more and much more severely. But this passage has two sides and both are impacted by death.
My Mom and I have already had the end of life talks, we’ve filled out the do not resuscitate orders, and have begun to deal with that final stage of her life. I even know what to do with her ashes when she passes. At least that’s a comfort knowing we are on the same page.
So please forgive me if I’ve been a little distant or not posting as much as I normally do. Life has been very unpredictable through all of this. It’s amazing how the unexpected events that occur because of medical surprises can radically change your day, week, or month.
Every step of the way on this final journey for her I am constantly reminded of how similar some of the emotions are between dealing with really tough problem debt and the passing of a loved one. The emotions are just as intensive, dark, overwhelming, debilitating, and depressing.
Those emotions blind us from the obvious reality that exists and leave us stranded in denial unable to take action to move forward. Just as I’m going to have to find my way through my mother dying, others have to find a way to deal with their financial lives fatally changing. It’s different. it’s the same.
Ironically, I might just be a bit better prepared for these end times because of helping people with bad debt than I would be otherwise. If anything, helping so many people to cross the emotional problem hurdles of difficult life situations has made me more of a realist and that’s helpful. So thank you for that. But it still hurts.
While your thoughts and prayers might be with me right now, rest assured that my thoughts and prayers are with you as you might be struggling with your own life altering financial circumstances.
I love you Mom.