Money troubles can feel overwhelming. The stress, the late payments, the feeling that you’re barely staying afloat—it’s enough to make anyone want to hide under the covers and hope it all magically fixes itself.
And if you’ve ever felt too ashamed or afraid to ask for help, I get it. I’ve seen this struggle play out for decades—people trapped in financial hardship, convinced they have to fix it alone.
But here’s the truth: Struggling with money doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Refusing to ask for help might.
And today, we’re going to talk about why asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s the smartest financial move you can make.
Why Do We Fear Asking for Help With Money?
For most of us, money isn’t just numbers on a spreadsheet. It’s tied to our sense of self-worth, our independence, and our pride.
That’s why financial struggles don’t just create stress—they create shame.
And shame is dangerous.
Shame silences us when we most need help. It convinces us that if we just work harder, push through, or ignore the problem long enough, we’ll figure it out.
But let’s be honest—if working harder and ignoring the problem was the answer, you wouldn’t still be struggling.
And you are not alone.
💡 Did you know? Studies show that 69% of Americans avoid talking about money struggles out of shame or fear of judgment—but those who seek financial advice reduce their stress levels and improve their financial situation faster. (Source: National Endowment for Financial Education)
The Real Cost of Staying Silent
I’ve spent 30+ years as a debt coach, helping good people escape bad financial situations.
And I can’t even tell you how many people I’ve seen lose thousands of dollars, their homes, and their peace of mind simply because they were too afraid to ask for help.
I’ve worked with people who:
- Took terrible high-interest loans because they were too embarrassed to ask for better options.
- Paid years of unnecessary fees because they didn’t want to admit they didn’t understand a contract.
- Avoided talking to creditors, thinking silence was safer—only to end up in collections, lawsuits, and wage garnishments.
And it didn’t have to be that way.
If they had just asked for help sooner, they could have saved money, stress, and years of financial struggle.
So let me ask you—how much is your silence costing you?
The Turning Point: When I Learned That Asking for Help Was Smart, Not Weak
I get why it’s hard to ask for help. For years, I believed that I had to figure everything out myself.
Especially as a commercial pilot, where the unspoken rule was: Pilots know everything. We’re trained to be calm, composed, and always in control. If something goes wrong, you handle it—no questions, no hesitation.
But one day, I had a harrowing in-flight emergency that shook me. After I landed safely, I called a corporate pilot friend for advice.
I told him what happened, and without missing a beat, he said something I’ll never forget:
“Steve, the best pilots have a buddy they can talk to for advice.”
That moment changed everything.
Because he was right. The best pilots don’t act like they know everything. They ask questions. They seek advice. They talk things through.
And the same is true for money.
The wealthiest, most financially stable people aren’t the ones who never struggle. They’re the ones who ask for help, seek advice, and make informed decisions.
So if billionaires can have financial advisors, tax strategists, and wealth coaches—why do we feel ashamed to ask for guidance when we’re struggling?
How to Overcome the Fear of Asking for Financial Help
If you’re stuck in a financial hole but feel too ashamed to ask for help, here’s where to start:
1. Realize You Are Not Alone
🔹 Millions of people struggle with money. You are NOT an exception.
🔹 The financial system is confusing on purpose—banks profit off of people not knowing their options.
🔹 The only people who never struggle with money are the ones who were born rich.
2. Talk to Someone Who Knows More Than You
🔹 If your debt feels overwhelming, talk to a trusted debt coach (not a debt collector).
🔹 If you’re behind on bills, call your creditors before they send your debt to collections.
🔹 If you don’t know how to budget, find someone who does.
Do You Have a Question You'd Like Help With? Contact Debt Coach Damon Day. Click here to reach Damon.
3. Be Honest About Where You Are
🔹 Denying the problem won’t fix it. Facing it head-on will.
🔹 The sooner you ask for help, the more options you have.
🔹 No one will judge you as harshly as you judge yourself.
Your Next Steps to Financial Relief
Vulnerability isn’t weakness—it’s how you take back control.
The people who get out of financial struggles the fastest aren’t the ones who pretend they have it all together. They’re the ones who ask questions, get advice, and take action.
💡 Here’s what you can do TODAY:
- Stop avoiding the numbers—look at your actual debt, bills, and budget.
- Reach out to one person who can help—a debt coach, financial counselor, or even a friend who’s good with money.
- If you’re behind on payments, call your creditors before they send your debt to collections.
And if you’re feeling stuck? You don’t have to figure it all out today. You just have to take one step forward.
You can also see what I had to say about vulnerability in life over at my Old Guy Insights site at The Hidden Strength in Vulnerability: Why Asking for Help Makes You Stronger.
Join the Conversation!
💡 Have you ever struggled with money but felt too ashamed to ask for help? Drop a comment below—I’d love to hear your story!
i need money to help me and a friend but no one helps? Why?