I lost my job about a year and a half ago which made us go through a tough finincial situation.
My husband already works 2 jobs and I felt bad asking him to work more while I tried to find another job so I just kept using the credit cards and not telling him about it.
That got way out of hand and I maxed out several of our cards and still kept it from him.
I did find a new job, but I basically used that money to try and pay down the cards, which is basically impossible.
My husband then got a third job because he wanted to use that money to buy a new Harley, but I used that for bills because we were getting behind.
He now wants to go look at a new Harley and thinks that we have all of the money from his third job in savings and we don’t.
I just don’t know how to tell him all of this because I hurt him really bad in the past and I don’t want to do it again.
I predict this situation will have a good outcome but you will have a short ride on a rough road.
Over the decades of helping people with money troubles I’ve seen this same situation time and time again. Even when I was living in the UK and helping people with debt issues they faced the exact same situation. And no matter which country I’m in the process of dealing with this and the outcome is always the same.
You have to tell your husband what the situation is. Things will get frosty at first but will thaw out. He will be upset but if you can approach it with honesty and a plan to deal with it then things will be better.
This does not sound like a situation where you went out and spent recklessly but instead tried to do the best you could. In hindsight now I’m sure you’d consider doing things differently but that’s just a valuable lesson learned.
Being a motorcycle rider myself (Honda Goldwing) I know that as the weather turns nice the desire to get back on the road again is a powerful force. Here in North Carolina the weather has already been nice enough to get out for the first time this year.
I would imagine that he will feel like this is your fault, and you feel that way as well, but let’s be honest here. It seems like he was totally hands off. He had no awareness what the family finances were and didn’t really give a damn.
Think of your family finances like you are running a business. The officers of the business need to be on the same page as to the financial condition of the company is so there are no surprises.
It would be good to know if the cards are in your names together or just your name. Let me know and we can come up with a plan on how to deal with this.
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