I’m a College Student and I Feel Suicidal Because of My Debt. – Calvin


“Dear Steve,

I am a college student with severe chronic depression. The illness has been so debilitating that I have gone from being a dean’s list student to entering the second term of my fifth year of undergraduate school. Unfortunately, this situation has forced me to take on $41,000 in student loans. I can’t afford health insurance and even though everyone I know insists I should finish school, I want to honor my debt and starting paying it off. I don’t know where to turn. I left school for a few months and my loans almost defaulted. Now that I have a chance to return to school they have been deferred but I am terrified about my future. It’s gotten so bad sometimes I think about committing suicide just to dissolve the debt and stop being such a burden to family and friends.

Do you think I should finish school and continue to accumulate debt I not sure I can pay? Do you know students have been able to pay on debt up to more than $40,000 and still manage to live average lives? Do you the best programs I can enter for help to forgive or pay off the loans?


Dear Calvin,

First, I must tell you that no debt problem is actually worth killing yourself over, even though it feels like it at the moment.

This is really less of a financial problem than an issue about your unmanaged depression. The very first thing we need to do is get you in front of a counselor on your campus and get you some immediate assistance for the suicidal thoughts and depression. You can do this without insurance.

I know what college you go to from your email address and I called the school to inquire about the resources available to you. I spoke to the Health Services team at 608-363-2331 and we discussed your situation. Based on the feeling I got from your email I told them I thought your situation was one of critical importance and they will reach out to you to help you. They wanted me to share with you that the Dean of Students Office at 608-363-2660 and Campus Security 608-363-2355 are all on stand by and awaiting your call if you feel like harming yourself.

See also  I Suffered From Multiple Nervous Breakdowns and Attempted Suicide. I Just Want to Be Happy. - Kanda

Let me just assure you that I’m here for you when we can get your emotional turbulence stabilized. At that time I can help you to come up with a plan for dealing with the future and the student loans. Keep them deferred right now and promise me that you will first focus on gaining some clarity by focusing on the depression now.

A journey is a series of steps. The first step is to get help for the way you are feeling, the next step will be to deal with the debt.


You are not alone. I'm here to help. There is no need to suffer in silence. We can get through this. Tomorrow can be better than today. Don't give up.

Do you have a question you'd like to ask me for free? Go ahead and click here.

P.S. Be sure to read ‘The Secret of Surviving Through Difficult Economic Times. What I Learned On My Journey‘.

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Steve Rhode is the Get Out of Debt Guy and has been helping good people with bad debt problems since 1994. You can learn more about Steve, here.
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9 thoughts on “I’m a College Student and I Feel Suicidal Because of My Debt. – Calvin”

  1. Hey Calvin,

    It’ll be okay! I know this is very difficult, but once you push yourself to make the move and finish your degree you will feel so much better (:

    I am on the verge of putting myself into deep debt for college, and I am stressing over it big time. I ask everyone I meet “is it worth it?” and everyone tells me the same thing: That education is the greatest investment you can make. If you think about it this way (that you are actually investing your money in your future), then hopefully the stress from college debt will subside.

    Take care of yourself!

    • Hey everybody,

      I just got a nice email from the director of health services at Calvin’s school and she thanked us for helping him out and she wanted to let us know that he’s okay.

      Thank you so much for your comments and help.


  2. Hi Calvin,

    You are very brave for reaching out for help during this time. And Steve R. is wonderful – – he’s provided you with some emergency help resources that are available to you immediately. Don’t be afraid to take his advice and seek that help.
    Accumulating debt is overwhelming, and being depressed on top of that only accentuates the problem. I, too, suffer from depression. So, I understand how you may feel like the walls are closing in and there is no way out.
    But taking your life is not the answer. You have to push through this difficult wall and continue to fight.
    Finishing school is very important because the degree will open up employment doors that may not be available otherwise. And employment will provide the money to pay down the debt. To finish the degree, have you googled for scholarship/grant Internet websites that are out there? Any free money that you can obtain will ease the debt burden.
    And there are few college students in today’s world that do not have tremendous amounts of debt when they complete their degrees. So you are not alone in this situation.
    Please heed Steve’s advice and don’t give up. I am praying for you.

  3. Hey Calvin,

    I just wanted to let you know that you are NOT alone in this! Like many of the other posts have already gone into – there are programs to help you! I have over $50,000 in private loan debt alone, on top of $12,000 in federal loans, and I still have another quarter of my Bachelor’s to go. There have been times that I have felt like I will never pay it all off, but I know I have options to help me when it comes time to repaying my loans. I hope you are able to find someone to talk to so you can get everything worked out! You can get through this!

  4. Good suggestions from mapgirl. Colleges often tailor financial aide packages to students’ needs. As a student you qualify for the campus student clinic. They may refer you to a specialist (psychiatrist). Whatever you do, you must get treatment for the depression. If you are indeed clinically depressed, you can’t really address any of your other issues effectively before you address this one. I know from experience. My ex-husband was bipolar.

  5. Hi Calvin,

    I’m going to make some recommendations as a voice of experience. Either I, or my friends have had to find solutions like this to make school affordable. I want to encourage you to finish school now. There is nothing like college out there in the real world to support you in finishing your degree. Keep your eyes on the prize of hurrying up and finishing with that piece of paper. Dig deep down now and invest in yourself. The money for your loans will come later once you have a degree. (I finished college $20K+ in debt, more than any of my friends had, and I know the feeling of despair you are having. You can do it. I know you can.)

    Action plan:
    1. Call campus counseling services. They can try to get you samples or low-cost medications for your depression or refer you to a doctor that can. Seek out local teaching hospitals and low-income clinics (There is one in your college town that sees county residents for $20 w/proof of income.). They can work with your counselors to get your depression under control with medication so you can focus on school. Steve is absolutely right on this.

    2. Talk to the Dean of Students about getting a tutor for classes where you need help. Sometimes tutoring help is free depending on your school. That will make you feel better about your grades and prevent you from having to leave again because of your GPA.

    3. Talk to the director of financial aid. Maybe they can dig a up scholarship for you or help get some of your loans forgiven. (A long shot, but worth asking. Sometimes there are funds mid-year for students because of other students who did not return.)

    4. Try to get a full-time job at the university and take a break for a year while you work. That way you have education benefits and can finish your degree. The sooner you start paying off your loans, you may feel better.

    GOOD LUCK! If you need anything, you can always email me. Steve has my email address. I can dig up other services for you, but you have to make the call.
    .-= mapgirl´s last blog ..In the Dentist’s Chair =-.

  6. Calvin, I appreciate you being honest and reaching out. I felt the same way when I was about 22 – but I didn’t have any debt. I had no family and no money. I felt completely alone in the world – and I was in a way.

    (If you want to, you can read my story at my site)

    Did I consider ending it all? Yes. But I’m glad I didn’t. I now have a wonderful family of my own and thriving business. I also feel that I am of service to others and that is a great feeling.

    It doesn’t feel like it, but this will pass. I’ve seen people handle debts much larger. This is nothing. Get through school, get some therapy too. I waited many years too long and it had a huge impact. Nothing wrong with asking for help.

    You’re not a quitter. You did great and got on Dean’s List. You are a smart man. You can turn this all around. You can do it.


  7. I know what it’s like to feel hopeless and I’ve lived to tell the tale. Do as Steve suggested and get counseling and a plan to manage your depression. Then take each day as it comes and deal only with what that day holds. Don’t imagine what will happen “if”. You can do this. One step at a time.


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