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Should We Stop Paying Our Mortgage. We Are So Stressed. – Beth

“Dear Steve,

A little over a year ago my husband lost his job. He got a new job two hours from our home. We were approved for and bought a home in the new town with the idea that we would be able to sell our first home. Of course, at that time, the economy took a total dive and we are left with a home that we do not live in but owe a first mortgage of approximately 98000 and a second mortgage of 28000. We owe approximately 100000 on our second home. We have enough credit card debt that with both our our jobs we are 900 short per month and have been robbing peter to pay paul. We have no savings and four kids. To say we’re stressed out is an understatement.

Would we be smart to let the house in our hometown go into forclosure and stop paying both the first and second mortage and then work hard and diligently to pay off the other debt? I so don’t want to file bankruptcy because where I work I will most likely be let go. Please help?!?!


Dear Beth,

I think the situation is dictating the answer for you. It appears you have no choice other than to let the old house go and deal with the ramifications. And what will happen is after the old house is foreclosed on the lenders on the old house will come after you for a huge bill you probably won’t be able to pay.

But I’m curious what kind of job you have were bankruptcy would be a problem. If you have a security clearance than bankruptcy is less of an issue these days.

Regardless if you elect to seek protection from creditors under the bankruptcy laws, the reality already exists that being maxed out and soon to be behind on the old house your credit will be shot anyway.

See also  Loan Modifications. More PR Than ER. 57% of Monthly Payments in Modified Loans Are the Same or Higher.

Please update me on your progress by posting updates here in the comments section of your question. I’m very interested in how this works out for you.


You are not alone. I'm here to help. There is no need to suffer in silence. We can get through this. Tomorrow can be better than today. Don't give up.

P.S. Be sure to read ‘The Secret of Surviving Through Difficult Economic Times. What I Learned On My Journey‘.

About the author

Steve Rhode

Steve Rhode is the Get Out of Debt Guy and has been helping good people with bad debt problems since 1994. You can learn more about Steve, here.


  • Beth,

    I am no expert when it comes to how employers will view bankruptcy. In your position, a credit check would reveal a declining credit score and an unbalanced debt to income ratio. If I were a banking employer, I would view your current situation as more of a risk than I would if you filed bankruptcy. Filing bankruptcy will remove the stress that you have and allow you to refocus on your job and your personal finances.

    I agree with Steve, you should have a confidential discussion with HR. Gain all the information you can before you make a decision, but do make a decision, time is of the essence.

    Best of Luck


  • Yeah, cause we know how financially responsible the banking industry has been over the years……
    I’m sorry, Beth, but that just seems wrong. Who are they to judge you!

  • i work as a csr at a bank (teller). you have to be financially responsible. they can run credit checks “as needed”.

    • Beth,

      I stand by what I said before. Being maxed out, late and over your head without taking and action to address the situation can often appear worse than bankruptcy. All the bad debt makes you more of a security risk. And I would bet a dozen donuts that your credit score is already dropping from the current and growing debt load.

      I would consider asking for a confidential discussion with HR and discuss the situation and ask for advice regarding a possible bankruptcy and if it would impact your employment. At this point I think you need facts rather than assumptions.

      Big hug.


  • I don’t understand why you would be let go if they found out that you filed BK. I think that would be a lawsuit, but I’m sure your insurance rates on everything will go up, because they base their rates on your credit score. My home insurance actually dropped me when I filed 10 yrs ago. My wife has a cc with the company she works for, and is worried about being let go since we stopped paying on it. I think the bank that backs the card is GE moneybank, which also does Walmart, JC Penneys and half a dozen others.
    I sympathize with your situation being a parent of 10 kids and 8 still at home,(my family) the budget gets squeezed. I hope your able to resolve your problem, Good Luck 🙂

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