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Home > Ask The Get Out of Debt Experts > My Partner Was Kicked Out for Domestic Violence and Now I Can’t Afford the House. – Victoria

My Partner Was Kicked Out for Domestic Violence and Now I Can’t Afford the House. – Victoria

“Dear Steve,

I own a home with my fiance. He was arrested for domestic violence (that didnt start until we bought the home, go figure) and has a restraining order on him.

He has stopped paying his half of the mortgage and our bills. I contacted our lender (Bank of America) and they said my debt to income is too high (I dont make enough to carry our loan (199k).

I am two months behind and not sure how or when I can make a full payment. We have an FHA loan at 5.5%. I contacted lendingtree and got the same response- I dont make qualify because my mortgage is more than 31% of my income (duh!) my income is down to 1 now. I am desperately trying to keep my home and make the payments but with no relief in sight.

I thought lenders have programs available to help people in times of need? I have never missed a payment in the 4 years I’ve owned my home. Now I need help and they refuse. What now?


Dear Victoria,

Unfortunately it sounds like you qualified for the mortgage based on both incomes. Due to circumstances beyond your control you can no longer afford the mortgage payment.

One alternative would be for you to talk to a local bankruptcy attorney and see what benefit bankruptcy might offer you in discharging your debts so you can afford the mortgage payment.

Your situation is truly sad. No lender is required to modify any mortgage. If you want to investigate this further you can see Free Mortgage Modification Help, Tips, Resources, and Calculators for additional resources.

If you have equity in your home it might be time to do a short sale or a quick sale to save what you can out of the equity. Otherwise, it is unlikely this is going to end well.

Please post your responses and follow-up messages to me on this in the comments section below.

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About Steve Rhode

Steve Rhode
Steve Rhode is the Get Out of Debt Guy and has been helping good people with bad debt problems since 1994. You can learn more about Steve, here.

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