I Left an Abusive Boyfriend 9 Months Ago and I’m Trying to Start Over. – Jen


“Dear Steve,

I’m on disability. I left an abusive boyfriend 9 months ago and I’m trying to start over again.

I already have student loans I can’t pay back. Which I will have to deal with as I can. I ended up leaving school due to illness.

I’m worried mostly about the credit cards I got in my name and the ex used, because they’re the only ones I can do anything about right now. My doctor has suggested I try to take a proactive step here, the stress about everything is worsening my condition.

So I’ve been considering bankruptcy, but I can’t afford to pay a lawyer. Things are looking bleak.

Is it possible to get a pro-bono lawyer? How do you find one?


PS- I love your site, you’re always so nice and so helpful. Thank you in advance.”

Dear Jen,

I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. Nobody should have to live through an abusive situation.

If they are government backed loans I would suggest you look into the Income Based Repayment (IBR) program. If you are on full and permanent disability there are some other programs to deal with student loans that might actually discharge your loans.

Regarding the bankruptcy, there is a pro-bono resource website you can visit for a list of lawyers that might be able to help you for free.

I agree with your doctor that taking some control over your situation will be the first step back up. It will empower you to no longer be the victim in this financial mess and to start acting, instead of simply reacting. Bankruptcy will improve the quality of your life because it will reduce your stress and constant worry. That can go a long way to helping you live a better life.

Please let me know what you decide to do and keep me posted along your journey. I really want to be there as you recover.


You are not alone. I'm here to help. There is no need to suffer in silence. We can get through this. Tomorrow can be better than today. Don't give up.

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Steve Rhode is the Get Out of Debt Guy and has been helping good people with bad debt problems since 1994. You can learn more about Steve, here.
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2 thoughts on “I Left an Abusive Boyfriend 9 Months Ago and I’m Trying to Start Over. – Jen”

  1. Steve, I just wanted to say a big THANK YOU.

    I went to that website and I will be applying for a pro bono lawyer next week. I feel better already, there seems to be hope now.

    I’m not sure if I qualify for IBR as my student loans are in default. But I’m going to deal with the bankruptcy first.

    Small baby steps.

    Thanks again.



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