Emily wrote in to me at GetOutOfDebt.org to ask for help. Here is what she said.
“I’m having some money problems. I’m having to struggle on making a payment on time and cause I’m pregant my hours got cut back at McDonald’s. Just trying to pay people back and stay on top with my debt with rent.
How can i get help with paying my bills?”
My gosh this is a difficult and stressful time in your life. In a perfect world it would be great to be able to be pregnant and enjoy that process rather than having to deal with the stress and pressure of money troubles, job issues and making it through life.
I always try to give advice in an honest and compassionate way. I just wish there was a way for me to reach through the computer and give you a giant hug. Sounds like you could use one right now.
Now for some honesty. The idea that the government or someone will help you to pay your bills is an urban myth that has been floating around forever. There is no other way to say this other than it does not happen, It does not exist. It is a lie, a falsehood, an untruth.
Now that being said, there are in fact some ways that someone, the government will help YOU and not your bills. But indirectly it can be helpful to paying bills.
Local and state governments do offer assistance programs to assist with rent, food, etc. These social service programs are available through loads of red tape, dealing with frustrating and often rude government employees and it takes time and patience to work you way through the process.
I would advise you to contact your local social service office and ask for help to find out what you are eligible for. The reaction I hear most often to this is people who say they don’t want to be on benefits. That’s a pride issue, not a reality issue.
If you’ve paid taxes and helped to fund the system, you should take advantage of it when you most need it. Pride is one thing but even salt does not help it to taste better when you are hungry.
We can’t forget the obvious contributors here as well. The three most important people in your life right now to help you through this will be your family, the baby’s father and the bankruptcy attorney.
If the baby’s father is fully participating and helping you both emotionally and financially, he deserves a hug. If he is not, then he needs to know that he has a responsibility to provide and help you to care for the child.
There is a legal process to help make them pay for child support. And by the way, child support is to be used to pay for the child, not your support. Talk to you local child support office to find out what to do to get the support your child is eligible for the baby’s father if he isn’t around or does not want to care for you or the child.
Family can be the saving grace at times like this, they can help us to make it through difficult times but asking them to pay your bills for you would be unreasonable. They are not their bills, they are your bills. If you can’t afford to pay your bills then you need to go and talk to a bankruptcy attorney. It would be reasonable to ask your family to help you pay for the bankruptcy lawyer. It is a one-time expense that will make a big difference. I’m all for those kinds of investments.
The law of the universe is that to overcome money troubles you either need to earn more or pay less. If McDonald’s isn’t able to offer you more hours then you could go look for a better paying job or go bankrupt to eliminate your debt.
Based on what you told me, and my years of experience I know you are living on the edge and just making it. A visit to the bankruptcy lawyer is the the most logical solution.
Once you put these financial pressures behind you then you can focus on having a less stressed and a more healthful pregnancy. That’s important. Stress during pregnancy does not help the growing life within. Start being a good mom now and take responsibility for dealing with the bills now.
Let me know how the trip to the bankruptcy attorney goes.
You are not alone. I'm here to help. There is no need to suffer in silence. We can get through this. Tomorrow can be better than today. Don't give up.
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