I’m Living With My Ex-Boyfriend and Can’t Afford to Move Out. – Kelly

“Dear Steve,

My name is Kelly and I’m in a bit of a pickle. I have a car loan with the remaining balance of $28,417.00, I make $652.59 payments every month. I’m trying to look for my own place, bec I currently live with my ex-boyfriend. But in order for me to be able to afford a place of my own, I need to have the payments cut in half, in order to afford rent, food etc. I tried to refinance, but I have a “upside down loan” where I owe more than it’s worth. I have good credit, never been late on a payment…for any of my bills. I also have two little credit card bills, one with 1,500 left and another for 334.00…I just figure I would keep paying those off.

So here’s my question, what do I do????

I was looking into “personal loans” and seeing if I get get a loan for 30,000, that way i can pay off my car and my little credit card bills ( or should I just continue to pay them off?), and then just have that one bill each month. That way I would think I would be able to afford rent,food etc. I really hate the idea of Bankruptcy, I’m only 25yrs old and the career I want does a background check, and that would look horrible on my part. I really need to get out of the house I’m in, but in order to do that…it all depends on that car payment/loan (big lesson learned). Thank you so much for taking the time to read over my situation and my question, it means a whole lot. I really don’t have anyone that can give me great advice in this situation.


Do You Have a Question You'd Like Help With? Contact Debt Coach Damon Day. Click here to reach Damon.

Dear Kelly,

The most logical approach is to hand the car back and seek protection under bankruptcy. That will at least protect you from the lender coming after you for a huge bill once they sell the vehicle at auction.

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I realize that bankruptcy seems tough and extreme right now but which is worse, living with your ex-boyfriend or dealing with rebuilding your credit following bankruptcy?

Before you make any rash decisions I would suggest you first click here to find a local bankruptcy attorney and meet with them to discuss what bankruptcy would meet for you.

Bankruptcy would give you a legal fresh start and a second chance to start your financial life over. Outside of that it seems your only other logical option would be to get another job and make extra money to cover the car payment and allow you to move out. Does that sound like a logical approach for you?

Please post your responses and follow-up messages to me on this in the comments section below.

Damon Day - Pro Debt Coach

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Steve Rhode is the Get Out of Debt Guy and has been helping good people with bad debt problems since 1994. You can learn more about Steve, here.
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2 thoughts on “I’m Living With My Ex-Boyfriend and Can’t Afford to Move Out. – Kelly”

  1. That is the worst advice you possibly could have given that poor girl.  you didn’t even bother to ask how far upside down the car loan is.  Kelly, Sell the car by borrowing the difference, buy a little hooptie, and get gone…

    • My advice is based on the information the reader sends in. Her stated priority was to move out and the advice I gave could help her to achieve that goal, quickly. You are correct, if she has the resources to borrow the money from another person to payoff the negative equity in the vehicle then she could find a buyer and sell the car. 

      In my experience, that outcome happens far less often than we’d hope it did.

      She could also look at LendingClub.com or Prosper.com to borrow the funds needed to refinance the car or pay her way out of it. I was concerned that any loan at that point would limit her ability to make the move and cuts her payments in half.


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