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I’m Losing Control of My Sanity Because of My Debt. I’m Having Bad Thoughts. – Frank

“Dear Steve,

Wife and I both had decent paying jobs and able to spend as much as we wanted, she lost her job and soon after unemployement debt I no longer had the overtime,bonuses and other perks, and 2 kids came along. we acrued a debt of 26k and now it is about to go to collection

I have a large debt that is about to go to collection my credit score is going down fast from 780. I am worried about getting sued and/or garnished wages (only salary in a family of 4) I have lost sleep and have bad thoughts, but I knwo anything happens to me I would create a worst situation for my wife and kids and I love them too much , I wontmake it difficult for them i need to make it better

I have been contemplating bankruptcy but am worried how this will effect my curent home and any future purchases I may need credit (larger home, new car)

Thank you in advance for any advice..I am losing control of my sanity

Frank”

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The Answer

Dear Frank,

The underlying concerns you are having with suicidal thoughts are not uncommon. Many of us that have lived through similar times have had the exact same thoughts. Those thoughts are the result on the underlying hopelessness you are feeling with the money troubles. Once we tackle those I can get you headed in a better direction.

You need to set aside what you once had. Those times were great and when they return in the future you’ll appreciate them all that much more.

For now we need to get your life to fit within your income and bankruptcy is certainly a consideration if there is little expectation you will be able to dig out of your current situation with your current income.

For me the deciding factor here is your mental health. I don’t picture you being in a position to face years of barely getting by and constant worry. You’ve already indicated you are struggling to cope with the current situation as it is. And that’s not a negative statement about you.

You appear to be stuck in that paralyzing time when comparing possible outcomes becomes a what if game of unequal choices.

For example, if I was to ask you which was more important, your sanity or larger home in the future. The correct answer should be sanity.

If I asked you if it was more important to deal with the situation or continue to have suicidal thoughts then the correct answer should be to deal with the situation.

The reality is going bankrupt does not mean you can’t buy a home or car in the future. Sure, you’ll have to rebuild your credit but it can easily be accomplished by following this process.

Frank, from one father and husband to another, making any choices that don’t tackle the underlying debt is not helpful or a loving way to move ahead.

The time has come that rather than guess what bankruptcy would mean for you or be fearful of what you might have to deal with let’s start making some god decisions based on the facts. I would urge you to find a local bankruptcy attorney and make an appointment to discuss your situation.

I would bet you will come away the reality with is there is hope, you will be able to avail yourself of a legal fresh start with bankruptcy and you can start to end this unhealthy stress and thinking right away.

If you feel you need to punish yourself then imagine you are a farmer whose crop failed because it did not rain. Is the farmer a failure?

Once you deal with the underlying debt the days will be brighter, work will be easier, you won’t have the suicidal thoughts and you’ll be a better father to your kids.

The situation just is what it is and the time has come to take positive steps to alter the path you are on. If you don’t I will personally hunt you down and kick your ass. :-)

You can click here to find a local bankruptcy attorney and if you’d like a second opinion about your situation or a personal consultation by another debt coach, please feel free to contact Damon Day.

Please post your responses and follow-up messages to me on this in the comments section below.

Big Hug!

Im Losing Control of My Sanity Because of My Debt. Im Having Bad Thoughts.   Frank
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About Steve Rhode

Steve Rhode
Steve Rhode is the Get Out of Debt Guy and has been helping good people with bad debt problems since 1994. You can learn more about Steve, here.
  • Peggy

    Frank — From someone who was also in your situation, although no children, thank goodness, I can tell you that filing bankruptcy was the best decision I ever made. Within 2 years or sooner I should be close to what my credit score was prior to my financial problems and being able to sleep at nite is a true blessing. Steve knows what he’s talking about so take his advice to heart. Good luck. Peggy

  • Peggy

    Frank — From someone who was also in your situation, although no children, thank goodness, I can tell you that filing bankruptcy was the best decision I ever made. Within 2 years or sooner I should be close to what my credit score was prior to my financial problems and being able to sleep at nite is a true blessing. Steve knows what he’s talking about so take his advice to heart. Good luck. Peggy

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