I am permanently disabled with bipolar, adhd, severe pptsd, and am trying to get my life together. I have spent most of my life in and out of the foster care system and juvenile hall.
I have pretty much lost everything I have ever loved…from my best friend who was murdered by a mutual acquaintance to the loss of the only person who believed in me…my grandmother. I promised my grandmother on her death bed that she could let go and she would not have to worry about me anymore. I would get my life together.I am now 39 years old and trying to live a semi “normal” life…without meds or anything. lord knows I have been a ginea pig 4 years as far as meds go. but I had my last draw with them when I missed a couple of doses,blacked out and tried to cut my wrist. with the inspiration of my promise to my gramma I got into school..took out loans and grants, even got my 1st drivers’ liscence at 28 yrs old! just when things started looking good. my gramma passed…and was buried right across the street from my school within a few feet of the bus stop where I got off every day. it was heart wrenching and I lost it.
my instructor advised me that coming to school hysterycal was doing me no good and I should withdraw until I came to terms with her death. I did just that. unfortunately, unknown to me they had just changed the policy for financial aid recipients that if you withdraw before the end of the quarter not only do you have to pay back tuition for that quarter but the next one too! in order to get back in school. guess it just wasnt meant to be….I STILL cant go near the school or her grave…my family hates me for not going to the funeral…but I just CANNOT see her in the ground. ….sorry I’m babbling. anyway…so the 250.00 economic stimulus that went out last year….that I was sooo depending on to get my electric bill caught up…
I recieved a letter stating that they were talikg that for what I owed. and any other money I qualify for until it is paid. as if that wasnt a slap in the face I finally found some resources that would allow me to buy a home and achieve my independence and spent weeks getting all my peas in a pod…only to once again get slapped in the face! apparently I totally qualify for everything that I need to get a home… even a REALLY good credit score!except because of the fact that I have outstanding student loans that are in defferment status I do not qualify for the loans.
I recieved a letter from my lender stating I have to get a disability discharge…I am trying to find some help to walk me through the steps of achieving my last step to independence. unfortunately aside from crisis counseling that only lasts 3 months and a few med appointments at least 2-3 years ago I have not even been to the doctor or have a regular doctor who can help me fill out the papers.. I am DESPERATE to get this situated.(hopefully by april) my disabilities have stood in my way most of my life…between the things I have endured struggling on the streets pretty much since I was twelve (which only made them more severe), and the fact that I have had NO support be it emotional or otherwise has eaten away at me…I am determined to turn my life around and fulfill my promise to my grandmother. I have payed all my probations and fines with the courts quite some time ago,stayed out of trouble…got my own apt. which unfortunately is also infested with mold and mushrooms and is not only making me sick…but my cat as well. we had a wonderful house that we were intending on bidding on and everything was all set until they denied my loan because of the student loans…. I would do anything in my power to resolve this….pleeeeeeease help! I would even be willing to donate my time as a volunteer to show how much I appreciate any help…..
You mentioned “we”, is someone applying with you?
Are these Department of Education loans or from a private lender?
You are not alone. I'm here to help. There is no need to suffer in silence. We can get through this. Tomorrow can be better than today. Don't give up.
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2 thoughts on “My Life Has Been a Roller Coaster and I’m Trying to Get it Together Now. – Christi”
no… we is me n my cat who have been sick since we moved to these apts. in march of 09. my g.f. and best friend also moved into a unit here and are getting really sick too! not only do I have bizarre mushrooms growing between the wall on my balcony…but my storage unit door just fell off yesterday and the whole wall in there is covered with a black mold that looks like worms! my bedroom closet wall has mold too! I would move…but between trying to pay off my credit card,(got the balance from 500.00 to 124.00 yea!)trying to figure out how to come up with earnest $
and the loans are from direct loans (says make checks payable to u.s. department of education (16,291.53 is being deffered since 2005) probably never should have even tried to go to school…
they suggested I do the disability discharge…but I don’t have a regular doctor to fill out the papers.
I am desperate to get this matter settled hopefully by april in order to get the 8,000.00 1st time buyers tax thing to help with some of the costs as far as buying my first home.
thanks so much for the hug… its a struggle everyday just to get up and make another call or do a search on the internet…but a promise is a promise…and lord knows I spent a lotta years messin my life up…I am just thankful for the few people who showed me love and understanding along my journey…if it wasn’t for them I might have given up all together…I can spend as much time as I need fixing my life…I have a wonderful woman by my side who inspires
me in the right direction.. whenever I feel like the world is closing in on me.
Sounds like a bad living situation.
Here is the link for the disability discharge information for the student loans, click here.