When someone you care about is stuck in a debt crisis, it’s easy to feel helpless—or worse, to say something that accidentally makes them feel even more ashamed or alone.
I’ve been helping people with debt problems since 1994, and I’ve seen it too many times: well-meaning friends and family give advice that backfires, not because they don’t care, but because they don’t know what really helps.
In this episode of the Get Out of Debt Guy Show, I talk about:
- Why a debt crisis is more emotional than mathematical
- What most people get wrong when trying to help
- The powerful things you can say that bring comfort, clarity, and hope
- And how to avoid making things worse—even unintentionally
If you’re going through a debt crisis yourself, or trying to support someone who is, this episode is for you. Give it a listen—and then visit GetOutOfDebt.org for more free resources, guides, and real help from someone who’s been in the trenches.
🎧 Listen now:
Transcript
[0:00] Hey there friends, it’s Steve here, the old get-out-of-deck guy.
[0:05] Today’s episode is titled, Crushed by a Debt Crisis and Paralyzed by Fear. I gotcha. If that even sounds like your life right now, stick around because you’re not alone. And we’re going to walk through this together. Whether you’re a returning listener or just finding me for the first time, damn, I’m glad you’re here. You’re in a safe space, and if this message hits home as we go along, don’t be afraid to boop that like button and give this just a little love. It helps more people find this message. And if you want to stick around for more real conversations like this one, make sure to subscribe and ring the notification bell. And remember, if you’ve got a question, just head over to getoutofdebt.org. That’s me. And it’s just me today. Damon’s off doing Damon things, but you’re in good hands.
[1:04] Let’s flip the script with something that might surprise you, because what most people assume about a debt crisis is just flat-out wrong. Most folks think that if they grind harder, stay quiet, or just ride it out,
[1:23] the debt will somehow resolve itself. That someday, magically, it’ll disappear with enough hustle or time applied But here’s the truth Doing nothing almost always makes it worse Unless that pause is intentional, informed, and part of a strategic plan Built on real facts and hard-won experience Not fear or avoidance And what feels like the right thing Keeping it a secret, pretending it’s not there Trying to handle it alone, It’s often the exact thing that keeps you trapped, But the good news You can change all of that starting right now Keep listening.
[2:11] You ever have one of those dreams Where you’re falling off a cliff or drowning And your heart’s pounding Like you’re about to die, And then you wake up and you’re safe in bed That panic, damn, it felt real, But it’s not reality Living through a debt crisis can feel just like that It wraps around your chest like a wet blanket Heavy, suffocating It makes you believe you’re doomed That you’ve failed And that there’s no way out, But here’s the twist, What you feel in that moment Isn’t the full truth It’s your brain reacting to fear Not facts And fear Fear can be a liar.
[3:01] Let me tell you about Mike. He’s 38, two kids, works full-time, trying hard not to fall behind. And last Tuesday, Mike sat in the parking lot after work, staring at his phone. Overdraft alert. Ding! Credit card declined at lunch. That was embarrassing. His daughter’s field trip form crumpled in the passenger seat, unpaid. He didn’t cry. You just sat there frozen because that’s what fear does it doesn’t always look like screaming sometimes it just shuts you down let me tell you about something that most people never realize debt is just math wrapped in emotion and it’s that emotional layer that screws people up not the math the numbers they can be calculated balanced solved figured out but the fear the shame and the guilt? Well, that’s what makes good people panic and make bad choices, like draining retirement accounts, falling for scams, or avoiding help because they think they don’t deserve it. Look, I’ve been helping people with debt problems since 1994, and during those many years, I’ve seen thousands and thousands of people make bad choices in debt crisis. Not because they were lazy or irresponsible, but because they were scared.
[4:23] Scared of what other people might think, scared because some half-truth or myth they heard years ago stuck to them like glue. Hey, when I was living through my debt problems, I was just as scared. I know what it’s like.
Do You Have a Question You'd Like Help With? Contact Debt Coach Damon Day. Click here to reach Damon.
[4:39] Mike thought he had a money problem, but that wasn’t the whole story. His real problem? He didn’t know what to do next, so he assumed there was nothing he could do. But what he felt wasn’t reality The truth, he really had options He had rights And he had people who could help He just didn’t know it yet He was deep in a debt crisis But he sure as hell wasn’t alone.
[5:05] There was a sticky note on Mike’s bathroom mirror And it said, hey, dude, figure it out, He looked at it every morning while brushing his teeth Hoping the answer would just appear It didn’t Not until he found real information, not until he realized that bankruptcy isn’t the end, it’s a restart and a legal restart. That credit counselors often make things worse that a guy named Damon Day could actually walk him through real practical steps without selling him anything. And that’s when the sticky note changed from figure it out.
[5:42] To, you did. A simple reply to that question he saw every morning. You know, it took time, it took courage, but Mike found his way. And that sticky note, it’s now proof that what once felt impossible was just a step-by-step journey waiting to be walked. Mike’s turning point wasn’t dramatic. No trumpet sounds. Just a moment when he said, I don’t want my daughter to see me scared of the phone anymore. And that was it. That one sentence cracked the panic shell wide open. You might be, Mike, suffocating in fear, thinking there’s no way out, but the reality is this. There is a path forward, you can sleep through the night again, and you don’t have to be ashamed. And when you learn the truth, your fear starts to lose its grip. Even a debt crisis loses its power when you stop facing it alone.
[6:42] When you’re dealing with a debt crisis You can either feel right or be right, Ultimately the choice is up to you Feelings or financial facts What’s more important to you? Here’s what you can do now Forgive yourself, dammit You’re not bad with money You’re not broken You’re human You know, I always say There’s no sense wasting a perfectly good mistake Let’s just learn from this and move on.
[7:10] If you’re hesitant about taking a step forward, just open one bill. Just one. Look at it. Name that fear. Put it in a shoebox if you want. Let’s just take some little steps. You can reach out to me at getoutofdebt.org and read one article. Search for an article. I’ve got 25,000 of them. Search for an article that applies to your situation and see what it says.
[7:39] And you can always talk to Damon Day He’s not a salesman He’s the guy I trust with your story, You can find him at D-A-M-O-N-D-A-Y dot com, Now, this is bigger than just you Someone you know is in a debt crisis Just like Mike So, if you like him Share this episode with him Because that might be the first thread That pulls them out of panic, Maybe someday they’ll have their own sticky note that reads You did it Hey, drop a comment below Have you ever struggled with this? Let’s talk about it And before you go, boop that like button Subscribe and check out getoutofdebt.org for free resources And until next time, stay awesome Be kind to each other And always remember to do good things.
[8:33] Got a money question keeping you up at night? well, don’t just Google it. Get real answers from real people who actually know what they’re talking about. Head to getoutofdebt.org slash podcast to ask your question and you might hear it on an upcoming episode. But hey, if you’d rather keep it private, Damon Day has your back. Visit d-a-m-o-n-d-a-y dot com because getting out of debt is easier with the right help. That’s getoutofdebt.org slash podcast, where smart money questions lead to smarter money moves.
